Archive for the 'Drunk' Category

How not to Skimboard

I think you’re supposed to stand up for this but then you should be dressed appropriate also. As far as him being drunk, my guess is he’s been drinking “Moon”shine.

Drunk Man Attempts To Skimboard – Watch MoreFunny Videos

Can someone explain?

Aside from some demented game after a chile cook-off, I don’t know what is going on here. Any ideas?

Most. Ridiculous Headline. EVER.

This is an Actual Headline:

Preliminary Autopsy Fails to Determine Amy Winehouse’s Cause of Death

Really?

As soon as we got word of Amy Winehouse dying (we were very very very busy at the pool when we heard) it wasn’t as if we all looked at each other in wonder and thought, “How in the world did THAT happen?!?!” No. We all said, practically simultaneously, “Holy crap she only died JUST NOW?!??!?”

Long time mockdockers know that I’ve called her a superhero forever, because I couldn’t BELIEVE a tiny body like that could continue to live with the amount of drugs she pumped into it day after day, UNLESS she was a superhero. It was my only explanation.

But her superhero days are over, and it’s sad and all, but COME ON. A headline like that is just absurd. They shouldn’t even bother LOOKING for a cause of death. They should just say, “Yeah – she died from excessive drug use. Now let’s figure out how she LIVED so long.” THAT is what they should investigate. That information could be really useful.

Anyway, I don’t want to disrespect Amy Winehouse by putting up a horrible picture of her, so here’s a horrible picture of Ashley Judd instead.

Survival

It’s always good to have a plan in case of emergency. This couple was obviously prepared. They left their home safely with all the necessities.

Grandma Partying

There’s nothing like a family get together over at Grandma’s house. She’s such a trooper, starts blowing her cookies and keeps on drinking.  Ain’t going down till the sun comes up! Yeeee Ha!

All Purpose Product

This seems to be a product the girls could use on their trip to Vegas.

Has anyone ever experienced any of these side effects?

Because One Janice Dickinson Picture Isn’t Enough…

…allow me to share another.

There.  NOW we’ve seen enough.

Attention Janice Dickinson: You Are Not 22.

Seriously.  There is a way to embrace your age, and be graceful about it.  This is not it.

Your Friday Morning Drunk Land/Waterbeast

Betcha didn’t think you’d see THAT post title today, did you? :)

This video is so frustrating to me, because it has no real outcome. I mean, either just drown and get rescued or get out, for crying out loud.

This Is How I Know We’re Doomed

I woke up so happy today, you guys.

I got my hair blondified a bit in preparation for a spring which seems like it’s NEVER GOING TO FREAKING ARRIVE, but getting blondified always makes me feel more…me, somehow. And then Mr. Mock and I met Agent J for dinner and basketball watching at one of my favorite eateries, and both games finished EXACTLY AS I HOPED THEY WOULD.

And because my boys are at my folks’ house, I got to sleep in until 10am this morning. And Mr. Mock had gotten up before me and fetched donuts which were waiting for me when I emerged from the bedroom. So it was pretty much a perfect way to start a day.

Until I read this.

According to that, the people who PAID BIG MONEY to see Charlie Sheen live on his 20-city tour, left disappointed with the show, and many of them want refunds. And they’re all whining and complaining about it saying moronic stuff like “I was hoping for something. I didn’t think it would be this bad,” and “”I expected him to at least entertain a little bit. It was just a bunch of ranting.”

Are they SERIOUS?!?!? What did they think he was going to do – break into song and dance and pull rabbits out of hats or something? He’s a drug addicted has-been whose only real talent is banging a lot of skanky women. HELLO.

I read the entire article and became SO IRRITATED at the people who left the show irritated. They should all be punched in the face for being stupid enough to think they’d actually be entertained. And all of them should have their voting rights taken away, because anyone who would pay to see that crap doesn’t deserve to vote people into public office.

GAWD.

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