The Mock Dock

An alert and astute mockdocker just sent me this auto-tune songification of Charlie Sheen, and it is the best thing I’ve seen all day.

I know some of you are feeling very sympathetic to Charlie, and think it’s bad to joke about him. I get that. I really do. But this video is seriously awesome, and it’s not really making fun of him so much as it is awesome-ifying him.

This might have to be my new ring tone.

Sorry I ignored you guys yesterday. As you know, I woke up at 3am and was on the go, non-stop, until around 10.30pm. I don’t even remember getting into bed last night, I was so tired.

BUT, the day was super fun. If you want to read about it, you can do so right here.

I’m totally behind on mocking, and if you’ve sent me an email within the last couple of days, I haven’t read it yet. I PROMISE I will catch up on all of that later tonight.

Meantime, I hope your veins are flowing with tiger blood, and that you’re spending your day winning, like him:

…but I’m going to GUESS that this guy has had a drink or two or ninety.

Was this about a fire? Because I’m still not totally clear.

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There is so much crazy in this video, I don’t even need to comment on it. Just watch, and learn precisely how not to live your life.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Charlie Sheen is insane. And holy crap, you guys. He looks HORRIBLE.

But you know, you can’t process him with a normal brain. You know.

You guys, Charlie Sheen called into a radio show today to OFFER ADVICE TO LINDSAY LOHAN.

This is what he said (emphasis mine because HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!),”I have some things I think she should consider, cause I don’t tell anybody what to do. Work on your impulse control … just try and think things through a little bit before you do them.”

I’ll wait right here while you stop giggling.

If you want even more giggles, check out the audio of even more delusional Sheentasticness after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Ohhhh. So THIS Is What People Mean When They Say, “Blind Leading The Blind.”’

Miley Cyrus — Partying with a Bong
Uploaded by zembandi1. – Up-to-the minute news videos.

Yeah. This is Miley Cyrus taking a hit from a bong.

Her dad is not pleased.

But you know who IS pleased? Me, for coming up with the title of this post.

According to this, Lindsay Lohan’s mom is SUING the tv show Glee for making fun of Lindsay.

I am not making this up.

The episode in question featured Gwyneth Paltrow as a substitute teacher in the highschool teaching Spanish. She said, in Spanish (with subtitles on the bottom of the screen), “Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?” and then, “Please get into groups and discuss how many times Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab.”

And Dina flipped out, lawyered up, and is accusing the show of defamation of character.

Just think about that for a moment. While you ponder, take a little trip down memory lane with Dina and Lindsay:

I don’t know about you all, but I’m thinking Dina and Lindsay have done a fine job of defaming themselves without any assistance from a FREAKING TV SHOW.

GAWD.

According to this, police found Charlie Sheen in a completely trashed hotel room naked and drunk. There was also a naked escort found screaming in a closet.

And they’re treating this like it’s Actual News. Hello, this is Charlie Sheen we’re talking about. This is like his standard Tuesday morning.

He wasn’t arrested, but instead taken to a hospital to detox and get a psych eval. And guess who took him there? Denise Richards, who apparently is way more of a masochist than I originally gave her credit for.

You know what she should do? Remarry him. That’d be a good idea.

Nothing like a pair of morts to get you in the mood for some twinkies and potato chips, right?

And that joint probably has something to do with it too.

Doubt it’s a joint?  Would I ever steer you wrong?

She’s delightful, isn’t she?