The Mock Dock

I would just like to inform this person that those jeans do not fit.

No thanks necessary. Just happy to help.

Holy mother of crap.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this picture, with absolutely no comment or context.  I’m assuming it’s not photoshopped, which is FREAKING ME OUT.

I’m not a fan of reptiles of any sort.  This didn’t help.

Look no further.

It’s like a convention for dudes with dolls.  Which means that these men are probably just a small sampling of the number of men who are Actually Into This.

Wow.

Does this creature have teeth?

Also, is that a bruise on her chest or HAIR?

*shudder*

I get that they were excited – since it was their first kiss and all. BUT HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP you would think they would have thought through how they might do this beforehand.

ICK.

…to even be in the same ROOM with a spider this size.

I kind of hate that we don’t get to see what happens to it. But clearly it was not having anything to do with tupperware.

She’s got to have those horrible dragonlady nails on top of everything else.

You know what my first reaction was when I saw this?  Pity for the tattoo artist.

…that what I’m looking at here is a woman holding a baby who is holding a flesh-colored stuffed toy ball and that this photo just HAPPENED to be snapped right when the baby was giving that flesh-colored stuffed toy ball a little cuddle and the woman was simply reaching down to pat the baby on the head, and that this is in no way a photo of a woman breastfeeding.  PLEASE TELL ME THAT.

And don’t misunderstand, I don’t have an issue with breastfeeding.  I am a big fan of women who breastfeed.  I’m just asking for a little discretion, that’s all.

Especially if you’re standing in FRONT of her. Because there would be serious risk to your Achilles Tendon. Standing behind her wouldn’t be so bad, I suppose, except for the fact that I can’t say with certainty that this is a woman.

There is just soooo much going wrong in this picture.