Why why why why WHY do women do this??? Why do they subject themselves to the torture of ripping perfectly good eyebrow hairs from their follicles, only to then DRAW THEM BACK ON??? I mean, I can understand shaping…contouring…manicuring. But this? No. I do not understand. And as someone who has the worst “hair genes” on the planet and is desperately lacking in the eyebrowular area, this process confounds my mind and infuriates my soul.
I mean, seriously - why go to the trouble of sleeving up your entire forearms? Why wear windchimes as a necklace? There is no reason to attempt to call any FURTHER attention to yourself when THIS is your choice of wedding gown.
I guarantee you her future inlaws didn’t show for this.
An alert and astute mockdocker sent in this photo today. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is that a KEY attached to her his its g-string? Whaaaaa?
Also, look at the bottom lip. It’s the size of an oreo.
I love how everyone around is like, totally oblivious to the fact that there is an amazon burgundy FREAK standing around holding a whip. Speaking of whips, you can never ever ever have too much of this scene:
The Indiana State Fair. SO FUN. Where else but a fair can you ride rides, pet farm animals, watch baby chicks hatch, pay STUPID AMOUNTS OF MONEY on craptoys for your kid that they’ll play with for 45 seconds, and eat fried everything on a stick? Nowhere, that’s where.
The fair is kickass.
Another great thing about the fair is the people watching. You CANNOT find more mockable people anywhere. The fanny packs, the stretch pants, the guys in wife beaters eating giant turkey legs - it just doesn’t get any better than that. And then, there’s the “costumes.” Case in point:
I just….whaaaaa?
And, I present you with Exhibit #4662: People who should lay off the elephant ears:
The landbeast in white is partially blocking the view of who I believe is her mother, the landbeast in purple, aka Barney. You know those two are going to be fighting over that Rascal pretty soon.
I’ve gotten like 62 messages about the crazy dog cloning woman I posted about a few days ago. So clearly, you are all very interested in hearing our thoughts about the latest development, being, of course, that this lady had a mormon missionary man slave 31 years ago.
So the story goes that she met a mormon missionary man in college, and when he went off on his missionary trip, she followed him, and with the help of a friend, abducted him and handcuffed him to a bed in some house and forced him to have all kinds of relations of a sexual nature with her. She said at the time, “I loved him so much that I would ski naked down Mount Everest in the nude with a carnation up my nose if he asked me to.”
She later said that the missionary man was a willing participant and there was no way she could force him to do anything, claiming, “I didn’t rape no 300-pound man. He was built like a Green Bay Packer.”
You guys, I know this is like, a big deal and all, but frankly I find the whole puppy cloning thing waaaaay more alarming than her sexual exploits. The chick is flat crazy, no question about it.
My favorite part of this article is the end, where some dude who knew of this crazy chick back in the day, said, “She’s ugly as sin now, but sure enough, that’s her.” LOVE.
Did you ever see a picture that just totally made your brain hurt from all of the possible captions that could go with it? One that you couldn’t stop looking at, even though the last thing in the world you wanted to do was look at it? A photo whose image would be forever seared into your memory, regardless of how much you willed yourself to forget you ever saw it?
Welcome to this photo.
As always, mockdock love to the best caption.
See that dude? He’s a total perv.
The Smoking Gun reports that Ronald Miller, age 56, was hanging out at home with his windows and doors wide open, when police drove by and noticed that anyone driving down the road could easily see him all exposed and naked and doing unspeakable things to himself. So they approached the house, and got close enough to see very clearly that Ronald was busying himself with putting a hefty bag covered claw hammer into his analular area. Yup! Riiiiiight in there. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, how might one go about inserting a claw hammer into one’s anus without proper lubrication?
Ronald, as it turns out, was waaaaay ahead of the game, and had lubed himself up nicely with MOTOR OIL.
The police walked right into his house and it wasn’t until they actually spoke to him that Ronald bothered to even acknowledge their presence. They informed him they’d arrest him for public indecency and cruelty to claw hammers. (Ok - maybe not the claw hammer part, but I certainly feel sorry for it…)
One of the cops happened to see a neighbor witnessing this whole thing and asked her questions about Ronald. She had the following observation to share:
“He’s not right.”
Nice detective work, neighbor. Very astute observation indeed. Was it the motor oil that gave it away?
I would love this story even more if the dude didn’t live just 2.5 hours away from here. <shudder>
This lady. This lady paid FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS to have her pit bull Booger cloned into 5 puppies. Watch how crazy she is. Especially at the end. She is seriously orgasmic over the puppies.
I appreciate people who love their pets, but this is flat crazy.
An alert and astute mockdocker sent us a link to some photos of a DUDE putting on a pair of pantyhose. Only they aren’t even regular pantyhose - they are MANTYhose, because they have the front fly thingy that boy underwear has. Someone has actually created a pantyhose product for men.
Anyway, you can imagine my intrigue. The pictures then linked back to this other website which is a blog seemingly DEVOTED to pantyhose-wearing dudes. The intro actually reads as follows:
Men, as well as women,
wear nylon legwear (tights and pantyhose)
for a number of reasons.
Fashion, warmth, comfort, athletic performance, healthy legs
or just because they feel good to wear.
I’m going to need some help from our male readers on this one. How, I ask you, might mantyhose assist with athletic performance? I mean, all the other reasons listed are ridiculous too, but that one really stood out.
And feel good to wear? What the hell? One of the primary reasons I have the job I do is so that I don’t have to wear pantyhose. I’ve actually managed to go at least the past whole decade without having to wear a single pair, and I consider that an actual job benefit.
Anyway, the site is hilarious. There are personal accounts of men who wear hose and how their girlfriends help them pick out hose, etc. You have to see it to believe it.
I would so love to know something about the photographer for this pic. Like, do you think he/she said, “Ok you two. Let’s go ahead and do this without shirts - we really want to capture all three of you, if you know what I mean. And how about a hand on her ass? That’ll add some ‘edge’ to what would otherwise be just your average everyday engagement photo. Ready? Say cheese!”
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