The Mock Dock

So have I told you guys lately how great Mr. Mock is?  Because HE IS GREAT.  Let me just give you a perfect example of his greatness and sweetness and consideration and thoughtfulness, and understand that this is just one example of zilllions.  It just happens to be the most recent.

I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but I do not cook.  I mean, I CAN cook a little, but cooking for me ranks really really high on my list of things I hate.  Mr. Mock doesn’t particularly enjoy it either, but nevertheless he does most of it in our house.  WIth rare exceptions.  He would LOVE for me to cook, but the hatred that I have for it borders on violent.  I REALLY hate it.  Happily, he loves me anyway.

Anyway, Mr. Mock warned me this morning that I should eat a light lunch because he was preparing a big dinner.  This of course didn’t stop me from stuffing my face at lunch anyway, knowing full well I’d regain my appetite by this evening.  And you know what he did?  He bought shrimp and special diablo-esque sauce and made me my favorite shrimp diablo italian dish, even though he HATES shrimp and doesn’t even particularly care for the kind of pasta we had.  And do you know why he did this?  FOR NO REASON.  This is how awesome he is.  Before we ate I said, “This is the sweetest!!!” and he said, “Really?  The sweetest?” and I said, “Well, I suppose it would have been sweeter if…” and then he interrupted me and said EXACTLY what I was going to say, which was “…if you had bitten into a shrimp and found a giant diamond in it?”  And so I said, “YES!” and then I said, “AND, if contained in my napkin were two round trip tickets to Europe to see Robbie Williams in concert” and he said, “And attached to the Robbie Williams tickets were diamond stud earrings?” and I said, “YES” and he said, “And the napkin holder was that ring from Tiffany’s that you like?”

Do you see why I love him so much?

Anyway, so our conversation at dinner turned to Uga VI, the University of Georgia mascot, a bulldog, who recently passed away.  As a graduate of UGA and a rabid college football fan to boot, Mr. Mock was deeply affected by Uga’s passing.  I mean, it’s sad and all, but the reaction of the UGA community to this dog dying has been hilariously over the top.  So Mr. Mock starts to tell me that the owners/breeders of all the Uga’s, GRIPPED WITH GRIEF, had to go on a 2 week cruise just to help themselves feel better.  And now that they are back they are busying themselves responding to the jillions of condolences they’ve received.  ABOUT A DOG.

I consider myself an animal lover, and maybe deep down I’m just jealous of Uga because if I died there wouldn’t be nearly this kind of fuss made over it, but come on.  Really?  Does this really warrant national attention?

Yes, Mr. Mock tells me adamantly.  “This is a dog who took Georgia football, baseball, women’s basketball, gymnastics, tennis and golf to GLORY” he says.  Emphasis on the glory, as Mr. Mock was genuinely getting a little misty as he said this. As if the dog had personal responsibility for the success of these teams.  You know what that dog was doing during those games?  Sitting and panting.  I fail to see how this contributed.

Anyway, now that you have a sense of Mr. Mock’s devotion to his school mascot, just multiply that by like, a million.  And that’s how devoted he is to me and the boys.  And for this, I offer him this haiku:

Mr. Mock is the best
He loves me more than Uga
And makes good food too