Archive for the 'I Hate Ashley Judd' Category

Tomorrow’s The Day!

Tomorrow Junior Mock goes in for his bicep/hip/hand surgery day.  And today, we paid a visit to his kidney surgeon, and the kidney stone removal is scheduled for April 6th.  That sucks, obviously, but the good news is that the kidney surgeon was AWESOME to us – he was exactly how you want doctors to look – experienced, wise, and kind.  Kinda like how Captain Sully is how you want all pilots to look.  You know?

Anyway, Buckeye Bob will probably be piping in over the next couple days to help me out while Junior recovers.  So you know you’ll be well taken care of.

MEANTIME, just LOOK at Ashley Judd’s tweet from yesterday.

Do you see what she did there?  She couldn’t just congratulate Octavia.  She had to congratulate her with a personal reference to her OWN MOVIE.  It’s aaaaaall about Ashley.  All the time.

 

I Might Be Biased…

…but this looks like the most over-acted, over dramatic, over the top bunch of crap I’ve ever seen.

But what else would you expect with Ashley? This is her new tv series starting up in March. It’s called Missing, in case you want to make a note of what show you should ignore.

If you don’t feel like suffering through the video, here are a couple of my favorite moments:

Ashley Judd Disapproves.

I love this picture.  For all sorts of reasons.  I’ll let you guess which ones.

Guess What Ashley Judd Wasn’t Doing At The End Of Last Night’s IU/UK Game?

This.  She was neither smiling nor cheering.  BECAUSE THE CATS LOST, in one of the most exciting college basketball games I can remember, and I nearly WEPT WITH JOY.

Plus, I liked that it gave me an excuse to post this pale and pudgy-faced photo of her. :)

You Know What I Hate?

Abercrombie and Fitch.

I freaking HATE THAT STORE.

And you know what I hate most about it? I’ve never been in one, and yet, I can’t even pass BY one without suffocating from the piles and piles of perfume they have circulating in there. How do people actually SHOP in that store without losing consciousness?

Besides, it’s a clothing store, I think, and yet any ad I’ve ever seen for them EVER is of naked teenagers. Which is another reason I hate them.

And you know what else? If you are over the age of, say, 35, you shouldn’t even be ALLOWED to buy anything for yourself in Abercrombie and Fitch, or Aeropostale, or any of those stupid related stores, because you look like a tool.

I’m sorry if I’ve offended any fans of those stores, but SERIOUSLY. I should be able to walk past them without needing a mask.

But you know the sure fire cure for my irritation with Abercrombie and Fitch? Horrible photos of Ashley Judd. And this one’s brand new!

Ashley Judd Is A Terrible Actress.

This is perfect evidence:

Ashley Judd might be really bad at a lot of things, but one thing she’s not bad at is self-promotion.  Someone as self-involved and self-interested and self-absorbed and self-centered and selfish as Ashley Judd knows full well that putting something on Twitter and calling it a “secret” is basically the best way to promote it EVER.

So FYI, mockdockers.  She’s writing another book with all sorts of “sacred narratives” from all sorts of girls.  And it’s likely to be FILLED with sentences that do not end in prepositions.

I know you’re as excited as I am.

This Was TOTALLY Me Last Night

Do you ever have those nights where ALL YOU WANT TO DO is sleep but you can’t because you can’t shut your brain off?  That was totally my night last night.  And it wasn’t even like I had anything in particular about which to be concerned or about which to be worried or by which to be preoccupied or with which to be consumed.  <–(That is how Ashley Judd would describe it, because of her obsession with not ending sentences in prepositions).  It’s just that my brain was acting like I’d just consumed 5 Red Bulls, even though the rest of me was desperately interested in being kinda comatose.

Anyway, my point is that I’m tired.

Here’s a moist owlet.

Correct Me If I’m Wrong…

…but I believe what Ashley is trying to ask her followers is, “Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?”

Holy mother of psychobabble.

WHATEVER WILL SHE DO?!?!

Ashley Judd has a major first world problem, you guys.

Seriously.

This Tree Needs Therapy

Awww.  Poor, sad, depressed tree.  He could use some Ashley Judd style therapy.

 

Then again, I’d be willing to bet that the tree is more emotionally stable than Ashley Judd.

 

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