God I hate her. You know, she’s kind of getting to that age where this outfit is no longer appropriate. In fact, I don’t know that this outfit is appropriate for ANY age, because it’s hideous. You know what I really hate? I hate her speaking voice. I do not understand how she is able to sing at all when her speaking voice sounds like a toad with strep throat.
Archive for the 'I Hate Mariah Carey' CategoryPage 3 of 5
So I was pretty excited about that Zohan movie coming out, because based on the previews I had high hopes that it could actually be quite funny. But after seeing this clip, in which that beast – Mariah Carey – makes a cameo, I am officially refusing to see it.
You know who could really provide some helpful tips to Mariah to improve her acting skills?
Britney Spears. That’s how bad Mariah is. Mariah should now be aspiring to reach the same acting heights of Britney Spears.
So there is now video of Mariah Carey throwing out a ceremonial pitch at a Japanese baseball game.
You guys – I sooo want to make fun of her horrible throw, but that would mean I’d have to own up to how bad of a thrower I am. You know how people say, “Oh – you throw like a girl” and it’s meant to be kind of a put-down? Well, if someone said that to me it would be like the compliment ever, because I could only HOPE to throw like a girl. As it happens, I throw like a toddler who hasn’t learned to throw yet. My aim is impossibly bad. I can’t even blow kisses at my husband without some perfect stranger saying, “HEY! Watch where you’re blowing your kisses, jerk!” It’s that bad.
In any case, since I have now owned up to it, I’m delighted to report that Mariah Carey sucks at baseball.
This is what Mariah Carey wore to throw out a ceremonial baseball pitch at some Japanese baseball game.
I hate her so much that I’m at a loss for words. Except to say that she looks like a conehead with her hair slicked back like that. A conehead with stupid shoes and overly dry knees.
So apparently one measly wedding on a beach wasn’t enough for Mariah Carey, and now plans for her elaborate ridiculous out-of-control wedding are underway.
Some super secret source of hers said that it’s expected to be held in NYC, and her guest list includes TWO THOUSAND PEOPLE, including 14 bridesmaids. Which means that 14 people are going to admit to being close friends with her.
The anticipated budget for this fiasco? FOUR MILLION DOLLARS.
HATE HATE HATE.
So in addition to getting kajillion dollar wedding rings for each other, Mariah Carey and her new husband Nick Cannon got his and her tattoos. Which they are happily displaying in this photo. It was sort of a given that she’d get some stupid butterfly tattoo, and she added the Mrs. Cannon, sort of in an understated way, right down the center of the butterfly spine. Typical trampstamp, for sure, but not completely obnoxious.
Now look at his. What the hell?!??! The only thing I can say is that dude seems to be quite committed to her.
You guys – watch Mariah’s new video, in which she “cries”. And by cries I mean that she wipes absolutely no tears whatsoever from her eyes, repeatedly. It’s so retarded. I don’t know of a single woman on the planet who cries with absolutely no facial expression. It’s one thing to not shed actual tears, but if you’re going to cry, you’re not going to be stone-faced. And if you don’t have tears, you’re probably not going to need to WIPE YOUR EYES.
You’re retarded, Mariah. I hate you. Shouldn’t you be in divorce court?
So apparently, all sorts of liberal bloggers are having major freakouts over the fact that top Democrats, including Obama, Hillary, and Howard Dean, are appearing on Fox News. They’re all, ” The party leaders are turning their backs on the base! They’re legitimizing Fox News! Waaaah!!!”
The founder of the Daily Kos even said that Democrats are “idiotic” to go onto the Fox network. According to this article, liberal bloggers have been taking an active role in trying to get Democratic leaders to BOYCOTT Fox News to reduce their credibility.
This is so totally retarded. I thought liberals were all about appreciating diversity and respecting everyone’s feelings, blah blah blah. But I guess that only applies if you agree with them.
Like it or not, liberals, lots and lots of people watch and enjoy Fox News. And like it or not, Fox News is considered a major news outlet/source. So you know what a smart thing to do is if you’re a Democratic leader? GO ON FOX NEWS. This shows people that you’re not a complete pussy and that you’re not afraid to be asked pointed questions by <gasp> a person with possible conservative viewpoints.
I can’t believe that this is something liberal bloggers even waste time getting upset over. Their problem is that they think their opinions are the only ones that matter, and therefore the candidates should only care about them. But if they had any sense they’d realize that it’s important for the candidates to try to appeal to as many people as possible, not just one little teeny tiny fanatical group of lefties.
End of rant.
P.S. Word on the street is that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon didn’t get a pre-nup!
P.P.S. See? Now this post is officially back to normal mockdockiness.
On the right: Mariah Carey’s engagement ring from Nick Cannon. On the left – the engagement ring Nick Cannon gave to his previous fiancee. IT IS THE SAME RING. Suck on that, Mariah. I hate you.
In related news, several news outlets are now reporting that Mariah and Nick already got married in some super secret ceremony.
Yawn.
Guess what! Someone loves Mariah Carey enough to marry her. While other sites are reporting that the big news is that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are engaged, we here at The Mock Dock see the bigger news as simply that someone LIKES MARIAH CAREY and is voluntarily committing to spending a lifetime with her. Enormous gigantic ring aside, the fact of the matter is that someone is going to subject himself to SHARING A LIFE with Mariah Carey.
I don’t know about you, but I’m shocked at this news. Someone clearly needs to pull Nick Cannon aside and explain to him what he’s getting himself into.
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