The Mock Dock

…there’s now a song, sung by an American Idol reject, and it’s the most painfully awesomely bad song and video EVER.

Although, most heterosexual men would probably argue that the song is barely noticeable, what with all the eye candy and whatnot. And I’ll give you that – there’s some very nice looking female bodies prancing around in the video.

But yowza. This song is horrific.

…this total wackjob American Idol fanatic, whose life is apparently ruined because America voted wrong.

Warning: her language is NSFW, because she’s a lunatic.

I haven’t watched American Idol this entire season, you guys. That is HUGE, because you know what a superfan I was. But no one interested me, and without Paula’s drunken antics it just didn’t seem like as much of a draw.

Until last night’s season finale. She reappeared, and her entire appearance was SO FULL OF AWKWARD. Just watch.

PS – Bret Michaels showed up too, even though he’s all aneurisimified and diabeetus-ified and stroke-ified and whatnot.

Holy. Mother. Of. Crap. This kid is SEVEN. There is nothing about his voice that would give away his age. Just the fact that he kinda looks like he needs to pee.

Amazing.

My Victoria is guest hosting American Idol tonight, you guys. Obviously, I’ll be riveted to the TV and unable to post. So here’s a picture for you to make fun of:

You guys, The Bachelor is STILL A SHOW THAT IS ON TV.

Holy crap – I thought that show ended back when Trista and Ryan got married. But it didn’t. It’s STILL ON. And this is a clip from the current series, in which all kinds of HEAVY DRAMA GOES DOWN.

Except that really instead of being dramatic, it’s kind of over the top and stupid.

Chris Harrison (host boy) is hysterical. Maybe he should be the next Bachelor!

Speaking of reality TV, AMERICAN IDOL STARTS TONIGHT! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Remember how much I used to love Kat McPhee? Yeah. Not so much anymore. I don’t like her hair, and I don’t like that she’s apparently trying to turn into Faith Hill, music-wise. And I don’t appreciate the flare of her top (although admittedly, her boobs look good).

Thoughts?

Remember Danny Gokey, from American Idol?  He’s releasing an album soon, and he is HOT on the cover of it.  And I never even considered his looks when I was a gokehead.  I just liked his voice.

Someone’s got themselves a mighty good stylist.

Adam McDyingCat Lambert was really awful at the AMA’s. I didn’t watch it live, but this is just a shrieky, provocative-for-provocative’s-sake horrible performance of a horrible terrible awful song.

HATE.

I took a listen to Adam Lambert’s single, and the conclusion I’ve come to about it is that he has officially replaced George Michael.

Your thoughts?

P.S. The Standard Glambert Yowl begins at minute 2.40.