The Mock Dock

GET IT? She’s acting like Ellen because Ellen is taking her place on American Idol!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Paula is so clever! HA HA HA HA HA HA! GET IT???

Wow.

There there, Paula.

You guys – Glee was SO GOOD.  I love that show so much.  And to top off a great show, I just read that Ellen Degeneres is officially going to be American Idol’s 4th judge.

WOOT!!!

Victoria descended upon Boston today for American Idol judging.  Look how completely awesome her SHOES are.   I mean, the dress is a given.  Flawless.  But WOW do I covet her shoes.

And I even love her whole headscarf thing too.  You know why?  Because it is on HER head.  LOVE.

Laura Zigman – if you see her, tell her I love her.  And for God’s sake don’t let Ashley get to her.

It’s really kind of adorable how sad Simon seems over Paula not being there.  But riiiiight when you start sort of thinking, “Aww – it DOES sort of suck that she’s gone” then BLAMMO – cut to Victoria Beckham being positively adorable about filling in.

She’s going to completely fabulousize the crap out of Idol this season.

LOOK at what The Sun is reporting!

They’re saying that my beloved Victoria Beckham could be replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol.  Do you know how completely awesome that would be?  She’d be all, “That was may-jah, dahling” to the people who are awesome, and she’d be a horrendous beyotch to the sucky people, and I would love every single moment of it.

And you KNOW she’d look so fabulous.  I wouldn’t even care about the singing anymore.  I’d watch purely for Victoria’s fashion.

Cross your fingers, you guys!

A past American Idol contestant has died as a result of a car crash – and two completely hilarious dudes made a tribute song for her, using the her parting words from the show.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

LOVE.

According to this, Paula Abdul may not return for next season’s American Idol.  Her manager talked to the LA times and said,  “She’s not a happy camper as a result of what’s going on. She’s hurt. She’s angry.”

“What’s going on” is that Paula hasn’t yet received a new contract proposal, even though auditions for the next season are already underway.  Interestingly, Paula’s manager has been her manager for just a few weeks now.  So he’s either a publicity genius and taking this story public so that the producers scramble to give Paula a zillion skillion dollars, or it’s really TRUE that the producers don’t care if Paula comes back one way or another.

The manager went on: “I find it under these circumstances particularly unusual; I think unnecessarily hurtful. I find it kind of unconscionable and certainly rude and disrespectful that they haven’t stepped up and said what they want to do. Very sadly, it does not appear that she’s going to be back on ‘Idol.” 

Paula tweeted about this yesterday by saying, “I’m actually moved 2 tears upon reading the enormous amount of tweets showing me your kindness, love, & undying support. God bless all of you! If it weren’t for you, this specific time and situation would feel a whole lot worse!”

Reports about what she may or may not have been drinking when she tweeted that have not yet been released.

What sort of unfair angelic higher power is hovering around Simon Cowell such that he gets offered ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FOUR MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR to sit and look smug on American Idol next season, while I resort to pleading with people on my facebook fan page to notice the ads on The Mock Dock in the hopes that I can make $.000002 in a month?

Because if this is some sort of angelic higher power that I can lease or rent-to-own or put on layaway, I would very much like to get some information about it.

YOU GUYS. Adam Lambert used to be blond. And fresh-faced. And tolerable. And like he could be a Backstreet Boy (insert any number of gay jokes here).

I almost second guessed whether or not this was actually HIM several times while watching this, until the end, when his now-infamous screech started.