Ok - so even though Holmes already did a Holmes-style recap, I feel a responsibility to the 3 readers we have who might actually have an interest in an honest-to-goodness performance analysis. So here goes. Continue reading ‘American Idol Recap - Mockarena Style’
Holmes here. It appears that both Mockerena and Dame were busy getting their pets groomed and there pipes snaked…or their pets snaked and their pipes groomed. Either way….eeewww. So I will take my crack at the American Idol Wrap-up-apalooza. Let me know how I do. If I had feelings, I bet I would be nervous.
I have never watched this musical extravaganza known as American Idolatry…so as I sit outside the Radio Shack off of Evergreen Blvd. on my new chic crate, I will attempt to keep you up to speed on the show…
Yep, there is someone singing and now someone else…could be lip-synching…I can’t hear…the Tvs are inside…ooooh look….soup kitchen is open….gotta go…I am sure they all did just great…I am proud of each of them and can feel the positive chi that each has put in the orbital aura for all of us to suckle upon as if at the Grand Teat of Mother Earth…great job you amazing, amazing singing kids.
Let me know how I did! Here was my favorite performance from the show…
UPDATE : Last night the YMCA served Tomato Bisque with a hard roll…yes…the correct answer is Tomato Bisque.
Wow. Next to Rosie O’Donnell, Danny Noriega seems far less irritating than usual.
According to this, Paula Abdul is not as crazy as we might have thought. She’s actually much crazier. She said, “Most people say I look better than I ever have. It feels good when I see young boys staring at me, saying, ‘I wish my mom looked that hot!’
Somehow she has completely missed the fact that when young boys are staring at her, it’s for one of two reasons. They are looking at her in fear, or they’re looking at her the way they’d look at, say, a woman with 6 arms.
There there, Paula. Have another drink.
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And that’s that I still have the biggest girl crush EVER on Kat McPhee. Seriously, how gorgeous did she look and how great did she sound? I know she’s been dropped from her music label and she’s essentially done nothing since her AI stint last year except get married to an old dude, but I am still totally in love with her.
Oh yeah, and Kristy McStupidStance will stay on for another week to torture us with her inability to sing as well as the other contestants and yet remain more perfect than all of them.
So according to a new report, some loser from Indiana is shopping nude photos of AMANDA OVERMYER of all people. As if seeing her clothed isn’t frightening enough.
It’s been a while since I’ve offered my readers a Tip O’ The Day. Well, here it is. Don’t pose for naked pictures, EVER, if you don’t want them to eventually end up on line somewhere. Because they will. It’s pretty much an accepted part of the the law of physics now.
This is Simon Cowell’s new ride. Apparently, it’s something called a Bugatti Veyron. And apparently, it costs ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
This means that he is tooling around LA in a vehicle which is worth around 5 times more than my HOUSE.
Well then.
That’s a terrific way to start out a Monday morning, isn’t it?
At the risk of alienating the “Fanjayas” that we have lurking here at the Mockdock, what the hell is wrong with you girls? Sanjaya is looking less and less like a guy with every photo opportunity.
So according to this report, Sanjaya is busy with his singing career, which has been reduced to performances at bat mitzvahs. Now I’m not going to snark on it too much, because it seems as though it was all for a good cause, charity, blah blah blah. But I AM going to point out that Sanjaya is about one lock of hair away from a full-on sex change.
So this is the video of Kady Malloy (the American Idol contestant who just got booted after a HORRIFIC rendition of a Queen song), doing what she does best - being Britney Spears. And I’m kind of obsessed with how spot on her impression of Britney is, which prompted my need to subject you to this.
Also, I would like to inform you that I wore the red version of the shirt she has on when she’s imitating Britney to my family Christmas Eve dinner this past Christmas. Does that make me famous?
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