The Mock Dock

Aside from some demented game after a chile cook-off, I don’t know what is going on here. Any ideas?

OK Billy, you know the routine. You didn’t eat all your green beans so it’s down the hill you go!

It would appear a Kilmer Whale has washed up on the beach near LA.

I guess the swimming isn’t that slimming for Val.

Man takes glove to ballgame in hopes of catching foul ball instead gets balls fouled up.

Should have used the glove.

Look close for the baseball.

I don’t recall Mock posting this before so I hope it’s not a repeat.  If you’re offended by flatulence or one small bad word (at the end) this is not for you. However if you have ever been in a new relationship and had to worry about embarrassing  gas, then this is hilarious. IMO

How can you eat your fries if you don’t have any meet?

I totally LOL’d at this:

I also posted it on Bunny’s facebook wall, because I knew she would LOL at it too. Which she did. Which is why we are meant to be sisters.

So according to this, some TOTAL LUNATIC tried to smuggle seven snakes and three turtles onto a plane.

But it gets better. He had hidden them in his pants.

It’s as if he woke up that morning and thought to himself, “What is the single grossest thing I could do to completely freak Mock out and get her to write about me on The Mock Dock?”

Well played, weirdo. Well played.

There’s absolutely no way I’m putting pictures of snakes and turtles here, because then I’d have to look at them. So here’s a couple of orangutans singing Robbie Williams songs.

You can tell they’re Robbie Williams songs, because of the PURE JOY AND ECSTASY on their faces.

So Mini-Mock finally got his first “real” bicycle the other day, and he was SO TOTALLY PRECIOUS with it. LOOK.

Sweaty, but precious.  He practiced for about 20 minutes and seemed to finally figure out how pedaling backwards would make him stop.  That was a toughie.

But listen!  After about 20 minutes, he said he had to go potty, so he ran inside while Mr. Mock and I stayed out.  A few minutes later, Mr. Mock says, “I think I hear him crying!” and so I ran into the house, and by the time I reached the living room, what I heard wasn’t just crying, it was BLOODCURDLING HYSTERICAL SCREAMS.  Our living room is approximately 20 feet from the bathroom he was in, but getting to that bathroom all of a sudden seemed like it was taking me 4 years.  It was like those horror movies where all of a sudden the hallway gets super long and you feel like you’re running through peanut butter.  In Actual Reality, I reached him in about 2 seconds.  But it FELT like 4 years.

ANYWAY.

I run into the bathroom, expecting to see my boy on the ground bleeding from every orifice and broken bones protruding from him.  This is how hysterical he sounded.  But you know what I found?  I found Mini-Mock standing up perfectly safe and sound, crying his FREAKING HEAD OFF.

So I said, “OMG WHAT IS THE MATTER?!?!?!?”

And do you know what that little stinker had the audacity to say to me, barely even able to speak because he was choking on his own sobs?  He wailed, “I can’t get my shorts buttoned.”

O

M

G

THAT was his big crisis, you guys.  He couldn’t get his shorts buttoned after going potty.

As you can imagine, I promptly gave him something to Actually Cry About, and yelled at him for 5 straight minutes about how much he scared me, how completely idiotic it was to cry over something that stupid, and how the only time he should EVER EVER EVER make those sounds again was if he was bleeding profusely, had bones sticking out of his skin, or something equally disastrous.

Ooooo – Mr. Mock and I were FURIOUS, you guys.  I’m STILL furious just thinking about it.  Especially because Mini-Mock has never ever ever cried like that before EVER, and we would have never expected that kind of nonsense out of him.

But he looked really cute on his new bike.

So there’s that.

EMBED-Most Embarrassing Vid Of 2011? Sorority Recruitment – Watch more free videos

This may come as a surprise to many of you, but I was not in a sorority in college.

Generally, people meet me and it’s like this automatic assumption that since I’m bubbly and high-energy and a total facesmasher in photos, that I must have been in a sorority. But I was not. It was never of interest to me to go through the rush-and-be-judged process. And this video TOTALLY VALIDATES my decision.

Not that I begrudge anyone else’s involvement with the Greek thing. Just not for me. And if I were in college now, and seeing this “recruitment video” I am fairly certain I’d be making the exact same decision again today.