So apparently, Kevin Costner is going to release a country music album. I’m not making this up. And yes, I mean THAT Kevin Costner. The guy who acts like the exact same person in every movie he’s ever made ever.
Kevin is the lead singer of a group called Modern West, and their album comes out on November 11th. I’m serious!
Below, a clip of his “singing.” I certainly don’t expect you to actually listen to it, but thought I’d post it as evidence.
You guys - remember the post about that Swiss retaurant who wants to start using breastmik as a key ingredient in their food? Well, a friend of Daisy’s sent her an article today about how the EVP of PETA has fired off a letter to Ben and Jerry (the ice cream guys) to implore them to use breastmilk in their ice cream.
This is just further evidence that PETA is a completely wacked-out organization. I don’t know if you’ve ever read any quotes attributed to their President, but that chick is a freaking lunatic.
I am an animal lover, and am all about the Humane Society and treating animals ethically, but I’m also a person who believes that humans still rank a little higher on the food chain. PETA is just EXTREME. Plus, their main spokesperson is Pam Anderson for crying out loud. That can’t help ANYONE’s cause. You know what Pam Anderson looks like she could use? A nice filet mignon.
Anyway, if you are interested in the letter the EVP wrote to Ben and Jerry, it’s after the jump. Continue reading ‘More Breastmilk Stories!’
Are you currently lactating? Because if you are, you can make money! I am not making this up. There is a restaurant in Switzerland whose owner wants to use 75% breastmilk in his meat stew and other soups and sauces. His rationale?
“We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?” Hans Locher, the restaurant owner said. Loosely translated, Hans Locher is a total perv.
Hans decided to RUN AN AD looking for breastmilk donors. He will pay for this service - about $5.50 for every 14 ounces.
He went on to remark: ”I first experimented with breast milk when my daughter was born. One can cook really delicious things with it. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream, in order to keep the consistency.”
You realize, of course, that this means someone has, at some point, agreed to have sex with and procreate with Hans.
Apparently, the food control authorities in Switzerland are totally freaking about this, because there is absolutely no regulatory information on what in the hell to do with restaurant owners who want to serve breastmilk. Breastmilk isn’t on the list of approved ingredients; BUT it’s also not on the list of banned ingredients. So you see, there is mass confusion over this. I don’t know that it’s a huge problem however, because WHO IN THE WORLD is going to go to this restaurant now?
This might just sort of take care of itself.
Some chick that might or might not be famous completely butchered the National Anthem last night. Can I just say how much I hate when people do this? Here in Indy, we had a similar uproar when everyone’s favorite painted skeleton, Steven Tyler from Aerosmith, did a screetch-a-lon version of our nation’s song. To all future singers of said song, we don’t care who you are. We aren’t at your personal concert. Sing the song, honor the nation, and get it over with. Period. Maybe I need to explain in “diva”. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnGGGGGGGGaaaaaa. Thhhh-A-A-A-A-A. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. (Hate.)
…but I TOTALLY agree with her on this. Mr. Mock and I were watching the news prior to Ike hitting - and heard over and over again that residents of the TX coast were being told not only to evacuate (or else face “certain death”) but also were told that IF they chose to ride out the storm, they should write their social security numbers on their arms. THAT’s how strong the message from city/county officials to get people the hell out of there was. Anyway, here’s her rant (per her myspace blog):
“I am sorry, but I believe all these people should have to pay the bill for their individual rescues! When they issue a “certain death” warning and you are f*cking dumb enough to stay, you do not deserve free aid. I watched people being interviewed on the news claiming they bought a bunch of beer and BBQ to sit through the storm. I bet these same people are crying for help as I type. This is f*cking stupid! Why should we have to foot a dime for these dumbasses that ignored these warnings?
FREE transportaion was provided, many buses left half empty. FREE shelters were provided, many not filled up. People value MONEY and POSESSIONS more than their own lives? IDIOTS!”
Seriously - why do people not pay attention to these warnings? Why?
Don LaFontaine has died at age 68. 
This so totally sucks. No one will ever make previews sound the same ever again ever. I hope that for his funeral, they are somehow able to dub an entire eulogy using clips from all the voice-overs he did, because that would be kind of awesome.
I just need to tell you that this will be a mock-free post. I am utterly mockless right now, when I say that I am TOTALLY IMPRESSED by Obama’s reaction to the Palin “controversy.” He said, “I have said before and I will repeat again: People’s families are off limits. And people’s children are especially off-limits. This shouldn’t be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin’s performance as a governor or her potential performance as a vice president. So I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories. You know my mother had me when she was 18 and how a family deals with issues and teenage children, that shouldn’t be a topic of our politics.”
He further said, when asked if his campaign had contributed to the rumors: “I am offended by that statement. There is no evidence at all that any of this involved us. Our people were not involved in any way in this, and they will not be. And if I thought there was somebody in my campaign who was involved in something like that, they would be fired.”
This is the absolute BEST response his campaign could have come out with, and I give him mad props for it.
We’ll now resume with our regularly scheduled mocking.
This whole election just keeps getting weirder. First, some idiots over at the Daily Kos came up with some ridiculous conspiracy theory about Sarah Palin not actually being the mother of her newest child, Trig, and that in fact, the child belonged to Sarah’s eldest daughter Bristol. This is how afraid the people at the Daily Kos are that Palin could positively affect the McCain campaign. This is an example of the depths to which they will plunge. Some commenters there even speculated that Trig was the result of incest between Bristol and her father. Unreal.
But in a new and interesting twist, Sarah Palin announced today that Bristol is, in fact, pregnant at 17, and that she will marry the father (whose identity has not been released). McCain knew about it, didn’t feel like it was a big deal, and that’s pretty much where the story ends. Except that of course it WON’T end there, because people will insist on making an ENORMOUS DEAL OUT OF IT.
I can’t remember a juicier election EVER!!!
It’s so totally awesome when regular ordinary citizens manage to get video/audio/photos of public figures doing or saying unbelievably stupid or offensive stuff. Michael Moore spouting off about his excitement over the timing of Gustav is one thing, because he’s an idiot. But check out the clip above of former National Chairman of the DNC Don Fowler and South Carolina Congressman John Spratt. Happily, this was linked on Drudge, which means it’ll get widespread attention.
Classy. I hope these two are proud of themselves.
Link to the original post by the person who caught the video is here. It also includes some bits of the conversation not captured on this clip.
UPDATE 8/31/08: Fowler has apologized as follows: “”If this offended anybody, I personally apologize. It was a mistake, and it was a satirical statement made in jest. And one that I clearly don’t believe. One doesn’t anticipate that one’s private conversation will be surreptitiously taped by some right-wing nutcase, but that’s the nature of what we’re dealing with.”
Nice jab at the person who taped you being a moron, Fowler. Way to deflect away from your own stupidity.
Jerk.
So McCain has chosen Sarah Palin as his running mate. I don’t know enough about her yet to decide if I’m on board or mortified, except that she appears to have a huge aversion to normal kid names. Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow and Piper are the names of her children. I am not making this up. Those aren’t nicknames - those are their actual names. What the hell??
So McCain has either just completely screwed up, or he’s BRILLIANT. Too early to tell for me. I like a whole lot of stuff about her, but she’s even less experienced than Obama, who is like, totally pubescent politically. If she’s half as good at melodramatic speeches as Obama is though, McCain could have a real shot at winning this thing.
Ohhh, the drama. LOVE.
Recent Comments