The Mock Dock

Thanks to alert and astute mockdocker Olivia J Snarkypants, and the fact that a couple of you also chimed in to agree, my new car shall be named Hello Kitty (or, Haro Kiti – which is the official Japanese name). I think this is perfect.

Haro Kiti shall be photographed as soon as she arrives, which I believe will be sometime this week. And now, for OJS’s prize:

OJ Snarkypants
You have named my car and thus
You’re super awesome.

Great submissions by all, and I thank you for your creativity, mockdockers!!

Cats rock.

Thanks to all of you who participated in my car-choosing poll. The vast majority of you chose Option #1, and since Infiniti basically went to the ends of the earth for us, and because that car is totally badass, Option #1 won out. I’m getting a brand new G37x this week, with all the fixin’s, and I’m getting to turn in my current car 4 months early, no inspection necessary, and yet somehow I’m going to save $60 a month. Clearly, they really really really really really wanted me to have this car. And I am happy to oblige.

But now I have a new dilemma. I think you know I’ve always given my cars names. My Odyssey was named Sumiko, and then my WRETCHED BEAST OF A CAR, the ML500, was named Helga. And of course my current car is Suki. Since the new car is Japanese, she will also need a Japanese name. That’s where you come in. Do you have any suggestions for me? I’ve been mulling over Kazumi, but I don’t know. I’m not 100% sold on that.

So your mockdock challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with my car’s name. It has to be Japanese SOUNDING, but not necessarily an Actual Japanese Name. If I end up going with your suggestion, I will totally write a haiku in your honor.

I’m going to miss Suki a lot, and I love that many of you all were mockdockers back in 2008 when I first got her. Good times.

Is his voice the greatest in the universe? No. It’s a decent voice. But I want to ASSAULT Emmanuel with hugs and kisses and facesmashes. And you will too.

Enjoy.

I have a very important decision to make, and apparently, I have to basically make it tomorrow, because I have two car dealerships who are making us two really good deals on two really good cars, and I CANNOT DECIDE which one to get. The lease on Suki is up, and it’s time to replace her. I’ve loved her SO MUCH, but we need a roomier car.

Here are the choices. Option 1:

And here’s Option Two:

HELP ME, you guys.

I think I’m leaning towards Option 1 because it’s more badass looking, and I like the interior more, AND it has keyless entry and a push-start, which I’m a huge fan of and totally used to.  BUT Option 2 is more unusual – you see far fewer of them on the road than you do Option 1.  And I like being unusual.

The price is essentially a wash, and both are like $50 less per month than Suki costs, so I come out ahead either way.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!??!

Help me.

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I was telling the Birds this story the other day, and it made them laugh, and my mom suggested that I share it with all the mockdockers, except that she was nervous that you would think I was a bad mom after reading it, and so I thought about it, and decided that really, you should all think I’m the BEST MOM EVER after reading it. So I will be very curious to hear which way y’all go.

ANYWAY.

I think I’ve told you before what a good sleeper Mini is. He basically announces each night that it’s time for him to go to bed, and happily goes through the evening bedtime routine, gets tucked in and kissed, and simply goes to sleep. There’s never any fuss, never any complaining – he just goes to sleep and that’s that. And on weekends, he’s been instructed that Mommy and Daddy like to sleep in, so he should feel free to get up and play, but observe the following rules:

1. Do not wake Mommy and Daddy up unless there is an emergency.
2. Tiptoe.
3. Don’t play with any loud toys.

So, this is where my mom shakes her head at me and thinks I’m a cruel parent. But I kinda think I’m awesome for having a kid who will actually follow those rules, and who never gets into any sort of trouble or mischief because he’s simply not that kind of kid. He’s SO GOOD. So weekends at my house typically mean that while Mini Mock gets out of bed at around 6.30, WE don’t get up until 8 or 8.30. (Junior Mock is obviously REALLY good about letting us sleep in, since he’s physically incapable of getting out of bed without one of us fetching him.)

But this is what happened last weekend. Mr. Mock was out of town, and as I put Mini Mock to bed on Friday night, I asked him, as I always do on weekend nights, “You remember the rules for the morning?” and he recited the three rules above, adorably, sweetly, and added another – “Don’t have any bad dreams,” which I’ve never told him was a rule, but which he decided should be one all on his own.

And I went to bed.

At around 6.30 Saturday morning, I was woken up out of the most glorious, deep sleep, to Mini Mock whispering in my ear.

“Mommy!” he said. And he said it a number of times, apparently, because I didn’t hear the first 4-5 times SINCE I WAS ASLEEP.

Finally, I murmured, “What?”

“Are you awake?” he asked me.

“I am now,” I answered.

“I have a question to ask you,” he said. “Will it wake you up if I flush the toilet?”

I was still really tired, but not too tired to recognize how completely adorable it was that he was worried about the noise of a toilet flushing waking me up, and at the same time utterly unaware that by ASKING me if the noise of the toilet flushing would wake me up, he was Actually Waking Me Up.

“No,” I answered, “but asking me a question will definitely wake me up.”

He looked puzzled for a moment, but then said, “Ok!” and ran out, presumably, to flush the toilet.

Naturally, I got up so I could go find him and immediately cover him with kisses, because he is seriously the cutest child IN THE UNIVERSE.

We’ve amended the weekend rules to include a fourth: Flush the toilet, and don’t ask Mommy and Daddy any questions if there’s no emergency.

He’s SO GOOD. And irresistible.

Bunny and I decided to hang out this evening, since both Junior and Mini were spending the night at the Birds’ house (in case I haven’t mentioned it before, my parents are affectionately known as The Birds, due to their teeny tiny bird-sized bodies.)

Anyway, our evening started out at The Cheesecake Factory, where we had good stuff to eat, looked in wonderment at a totally androgynous server, and watched a landbeast a few tables away use his stomach as an armrest in between bites. Good times.

We’d intended to go to Target afterwards, since both of us needed miscellaneous household items, but gabbed too long at dinner, and it was after 9pm when we left. So we decided we’d go to Wal-mart, even though neither of us ever goes to Wal-mart if we can help it.

So while we’re waiting in the turn-lane that goes into Wal-mart for the light to turn green, all of a sudden we hear sirens and see flashing lights coming up behind us. And two police cars went through our turn light (which was still red) and raced into the Wal-mart parking lot. We followed right behind as soon as the light turned green, and as we neared the entrance of the Wal-mart, we saw a dude run out of the store, with the police chasing him, and one of the policemen DREW HIS GUN AND POINTED IT AT THE DUDE, at which point I just stopped the car and Bunny and I simply stared at what was unfolding in front of us. No shots were fired, because the dude must have heard the cop TELL him that his gun was drawn, and so he went down to the ground in a hurry. And then three more cop cars and 2 firetrucks arrived, because this was probably one of the most exciting things to happen on the north side of Indy, and so everyone on duty apparently wanted to be involved.

Once there were about 3 cops surrounding the dude on the ground, I pulled the car into an Actual Parking Spot so we could watch some more. And that’s when I looked at Bunny, and she looked at me, and we burst into laughter. And I said, “I think maybe we should go to Meijer instead.” And she said, “Are you kidding me? There are 5 cop cars and two firetrucks here. This is basically the safest time we could ever be at Wal-mart ever.”

She had a point.

When we got inside, we asked one of the employees there what was going on, and found out that the dude who ran out of the store was trying to steal liquor. THAT’S IT. That was what the entire altercation was about. Apparently, attempting to steal liquor from Wal-mart will get you 5 cop-cars, two firetrucks, and a gun pointed right at you. So just KNOW that, you guys, before you get any big ideas about stealing liquor from Wal-mart.

Anyway, my point is that this is the kind of stuff that happens when Bunny and I decide to have an ordinary sisters’ night out. I didn’t really get any pictures of People Of Wal-mart, so here’s a picture that an alert and astute mockdocker sent me of a dude on a subway:

Flight of the Bumblebee on BOTTLES.

Pure awesome.

I was at a Human Resources conference earlier this week, learning all sorts of Human Resourcesy stuff with other Human Resourcesy people. Good times. I went to a Social Media session, where I was introduced to the joys of Yelp, a site where people rate stuff. I’d never heard of it before, but then this morning, BY TOTAL COINCIDENCE, I saw this:

I laughed so hard at this.  It’s this kind of stuff, this irreverent, bordering-on-tasteless stuff, that makes me feel closer to all of humanity.  Because whoever took the time to rate Ford’s Theater, and attach an Abraham Lincoln avatar to the rating? They could EASILY be my friend.

LOVE.

…but I can’t help it.

EMBED-Epic Fail: Beach Babe Attempts To Walk On Water – Watch more free videos

And here’s the thing. That is PRECISELY HOW WELL I would do at the beach bubble. And yet I giggle.