The Mock Dock

I totally want to try this, even though it’s inappropriate, because I am SO CURIOUS what a refreshingly delicious cat drink would taste like.

I don’t even wanna THINK about the people who are going to find The Mock Dock now that there’s a “pussy pop” tag here.

HI PERVS!

I would totally product test this I weren’t just a teeeeeny bit concerned that the “rug” actually refers to this dude’s hair.

…this is ridiculous.

I mean, a t-shirt that you wear around the house?  Maybe.  Even that’s a stretch.  But an ACTUAL APPLIANCE?  I wouldn’t even have a Robbie Williams refrigerator.  Or a Beckhams refrigerator.  And you know how much I love them.

Some things just need to stay celebrity-free.

At last. A mayonnaise for gay people.

WHAT TOOK SO LONG?!?!?

For the men out there who are far too lazy to develop Actual Six Pack Abs, voila.  Just strap on a basket:

This is how Indian dudes learn about condoms, apparently. And I’m not going to lie – I TOTALLY LOVE THIS SONG. Even though it’s really long, it’s very catchy. And I was happily be-bopping my head along to the happy little dancing condom characters, when ALL OF A SUDDEN, without any warning whatsoever, they flash a drawing of a couple of gay dudes with their weewees out at around the 5.42 mark.

A little preparation for that would have been appreciated, is all.

Have the Chinese not heard of push-up bras? They do the same thing, without requiring a pulley system. And without being called Chinese Cleavage Clamp.

You guys, I watched EVERY MOMENT of this commercial, even though I couldn’t understand a word of it, and even though it showed many parts over and over again, because I somehow thought that there would be an explanation of the part which showed fat moving from the belly area to the boobular area. So if you’re planning on watching the whole thing, let me save you the trouble. They never explain that part (at least in English).

Then again, if you’re a dude, you might enjoy watching this all the way through for entirely different reasons.

You guys, for the low low price of $24.95, you can buy INVISIBILITY.

I’m not making this up.

BEHOLD:

Admit it.  You’re totally intrigued.

And if being invisible at will wasn’t already enough,  you get a FREE BONUS GIFT if you order.  BEHOLD:

Obviously, I NEED to make a dog walk on stilts, and have a squirrel hang out in my pocket.  The bringing dead creatures back to life thing – not so much.  But I am TOTALLY DOWN with the pocket squirrel.

Who’s with me?

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me a link to an awesome product:

It’s a SCREWNICORN, you guys. And what’s awesome is that the site which sells it fully admits to only selling it because of its kickass name. Obviously, I need to be friends with the people who run that site. They call it Vat19, and they have a whole page dedicated to why they’re so awesome. I want to buy a crapload of stuff from them, just because their website amuses me so much.

BEHOLD: The Screwnicorn promotional video:

I NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THOSE BOYS.

I believe this product is either for jock itch or hemorrhoids. Either way, inappropriate. And bizarre that an entire office would suffer from either affliction at the same time.