The Mock Dock

“Once you go big, you never go twig.”

This seems to be a product the girls could use on their trip to Vegas.

Has anyone ever experienced any of these side effects?

Yeah – it’s kinda violent and Jerry Bruckheimery. But I love the porn staches and the fact that they’re, you know, them.

I know. The title of the video says it’s the WORST fight scene ever. But when an alert and astute mockdocker sent this to me, and I watched it, I laughed SO HARD, that I couldn’t possibly describe something THIS AWESOME as being the WORST.

What’s super awesome about this is that this totally passed muster with people Back In The Day. People watched Star Trek, and genuinely thought, at the time, that this was GOOD.

I love that SO MUCH.

Sorry I didn’t talk to you guys yesterday evening, but I was very very very busy hanging around thousands and thousands of my closest teenaged friends at the Glee Live concert in downtown Indy.

Yes.  I saw Glee in concert.  I went with 4 friends, who are all a good 8-10 years younger than I am, but probably more mature, so really we balanced out nicely.  Honestly, we weren’t really the oldest ones there – there were lots and lots of grown-ups.  But also lots and lots of teenagers.

Most of the teenaged girls were totally freaking out over the lead male dude from the show, Finn, who I’ve never really been into, because I have always been too busy looking at Puck.  And I’m happy to report that Puck and I had a moment.  BEHOLD:

Granted, it’s not a moment that HE realizes we had, but STILL.

We were in good seats just to the side of the stage, but the reverb was awful there and so after a few songs we went up to one of the suites, right in the center of Conseco Field House looking directly at the stage, and that was completely awesome.  That was one of those moment where I was super glad I had Friends Of Importance with connections and pull and influence.  Don’t get me wrong – I am a total nobody, but every now and then I get to hang with people who are Somebody, and I’ve discovered that for events like concerts, that can come in very very handy. What with the suite passes and free drinks and food and whatnot.

Anyway, that’s why I wasn’t around yesterday evening.  But tonight I’ll be mocktastic. Promise.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this video clip, and here’s what she said about it (which is perfect already and cannot be improved upon):

“I stumbled upon a documentary on Netflix the other night called ‘The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia’. It was perhaps the most fantastically white trash bonanza I have ever seen on film. It’s like Deliverance meets People of Walmart meets any episode of COPS ever filmed in a trailer park. Here is the trailer (pun totally intended), it doesn’t even come close to doing the film justice… you totally should watch it in its entirety, but I thought I should give you a taste. Enjoy.”

Obviously, I need the box set of this documentary, and a box of wine to go with it.

Apparently, the Argentinian version of Dancing With The Stars is a bit on the risque side.

The chick is hot – no question. But if this is on at prime time? TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE.

Mr. Mock says he needs to watch it several more times to determine how inappropriate it is.

Argentina's Dancing with the Stars
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An alert and astute mockdocker sent me the most hilarious video ever, which is only initially scarred by Katie Couric at the very beginning.

The video features a very successful hand model. And this chick is positively freaky with her hands. I mean, I get that she needs to take really good care of them and stuff, but the way she’s constantly stroking and petting them is just CREEPY.

I’m going to guess no man has ever dared to put a ring on that thing.

I can’t decide how I feel about this. Something about Gwyneth Paltrow annoys the crap out of me. HOWEVER, she has a nice enough singing voice. However, it is criminal for anyone else but Cee Lo to sing this song. However, it’s the Glee cast and I love them. However, Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t have enough soul to front this song. However, I love Glee.

Do you see my dilemma?

British comedies are so freaking hilarious, and this one, from a series called The Trip, looks positively awesome. If you like funny British dudes who do Michael Caine impressions, anyway.

Which I do.