I was bet a dollar to not laugh at this video by Holmes. I failed. This is one of the many short performances by Mike Meyers last night on the MTV Movie Awards. I did not watch said event because I don’t have cable. And, unfortunately, MTV-Tres does not believe that their demographic would enjoy watching. Jerks.
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People like this dude just completely blow my mind. I love this show even more than American Idol.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE.
I probably should just not watch TV ever. Because once again, I have fallen for a very persuasive commercial, about a product which I can practically guarantee won’t work, but because of the sheer possibility that it MIGHT, I am now $32.00 poorer than I was just moments ago.
I have just purchased the SONIC SCRUBBER, which is a product that looks like an electric toothbrush but which is really an implement designed to clean impossible places like the corners of tile showers, and the gooey crap that builds up around your faucets, and, according to the commercial, COUNTLESS OTHER PLACES.
The ordering process was very sneaky, because you click that you want the $19.99 SONIC SCRUBBER, and then you get all of these follow up screens which say, “BUT LOOK! For just $10 more you can have this and this and this and this!” And it’s only because my husband is sitting right next to me that I didn’t end up spending over $100 on all sorts of retarded products. Anyway, I spent the $19.99 on the SONIC SCRUBBER, another few bucks on tax, and then the balance of the $32 on shipping. But I COULD have spend just $12.00 more for RUSH shipping which would have guaranteed delivery in 7 days, or I could have OVERNIGHTED it for many more dollars.
Which begs the question, how dirty is your house if you need to OVERNIGHT such a product?
Anyway, since I didn’t spend any extra money on fancy fast shipping, it will probably take at least 8 weeks to get here. I almost hope it does so that I can call their customer service line and speak to a new Life Hating Person.
Once this genius product arrives, I will take before and after photos of all the nasty places in my house that need super sonic cleaning, and once again, you’ll have the benefit of my experience before purchasing one of these things yourself.
You’re welcome! 
I earned some television privileges at the YMCA on Sunday night by not disturbing the ladies’ bathroom during “open hours”. I know…it’s the little things that count in the world, the gentle thoughtfulness pervasive to humankind. Anyway, I took a moment to watch my favorite show, “Family Guy.” This scene made me laugh so hard that milk came out of my nose. And my lactose intolerance has kept me off the moo-juice since my mother pushed me away as a baby.
So Tom Cruise was interviewed by Oprah at his Telluride home. And my observations from the show are as follows:
1. Tom Cruise has a really good decorator, and his house is impossibly gorgeous.
2. Katie Holmes likes to bake fattening sweets which are apparently eaten by no one.
3. Tom feels kinda bad about his interview with Matt Lauer, but not bad enough to actually apologize for how much of a jerk he was
4. Tom has clearly been asked to tone down the scientology schtik, but his mouth gets all quivery and he looks like he’s about to jump out of his skin whenever the cult religion is mentioned
5. Tom and Katie have their own mountain lookout, which Tom took Oprah to on one his tricked out snowmobiles, and the view is so beautiful that it made Oprah cry and wish peace unto him in some sapped out way that made the entire viewing audience collectively want to punch both of them squarely in the face
In conclusion, I’m still fairly certain he’s insane.
I love Tracey Ullman so much for parodying Rita Cosby, who could be the most irritating news correspondent of All Time.
If you were going on a game show as a contestant, and you knew that you had the chance to win a substantial amount of cash and prizes, and more importantly, you knew that you were likely going to be doing lots of jumping and cheering, what sort of top would you wear? Thank you, alert and astute reader Jamie for bringing this clip to our attention.
So I told you yesterday how freaking excited I was for this….and man, I was not disappointed. Here she is, this season’s biggest loser. Look at her! Can you believe that?!?
I also got to see my favorite couple, Jackie and Dan…I love them. Dan, if you somehow find the Mock Dock…please be my friend. I’m begging you. Ok, I totally sound like a stalker. Anywhoo…after the jump you can see how amazing Jackie and Dan look now. Also, go see Biggest Loser’s website for more amazing transformations. Best. Show. EVER.
Continue reading ‘Biggest Loser Finale - it happened, and it was wonderful’
Tonight is the night folks. My FAVORITE show has its finale tonight and seriously I will be holding my breath until then. I might pass out, so someone call me and make sure I am conscious by 8pm. Here are the finalist…
Guys, seriously. TiVo American Idol tonight and WATCH THIS. These people will freaking amaze you. Even if you have never watched this show before, if you watch tonight, you will be hooked. This is what these people looked like when they went home to continue their weight loss for five weeks. They already look freaking amazing compared to the land beasts they used to be. The guy in the Greg Brady position is Mark, who has started out about 300 lbs. Now basically all he does is cry. He is a complete basket case. So, that’s always a fun reason to watch!
My pick to win is Roger (Cindy Brady position), if he doesn’t get eliminated. Here is what he used to look like…
Unbelievable, right? I know. I guarantee to you that tonight, he will weigh less than you. It’s amazing. I LOVE THIS SHOW. WATCH!!!!!!!!
Hey - you know how stage parents are generally the most annoying people on earth? Well, the new VH1 show, I Know My Kid’s A Star, has outdone even your WORST stage parent nightmare, by introducing the horrific transvestite-ish mom Rocky, who wants her daughter Hayley to buy her a dream house.
Watch -as she helps Hayley learn a truly age-appropriate song to perform for the world-renowned talent-finder, Danny Bonaduce.
“Is my tampon string showing?” You don’t get classier than that, mockdockers.
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