The Mock Dock

…there’s now a song, sung by an American Idol reject, and it’s the most painfully awesomely bad song and video EVER.

Although, most heterosexual men would probably argue that the song is barely noticeable, what with all the eye candy and whatnot. And I’ll give you that – there’s some very nice looking female bodies prancing around in the video.

But yowza. This song is horrific.

I haven’t watched American Idol this entire season, you guys. That is HUGE, because you know what a superfan I was. But no one interested me, and without Paula’s drunken antics it just didn’t seem like as much of a draw.

Until last night’s season finale. She reappeared, and her entire appearance was SO FULL OF AWKWARD. Just watch.

PS – Bret Michaels showed up too, even though he’s all aneurisimified and diabeetus-ified and stroke-ified and whatnot.

Holy. Mother. Of. Crap. This kid is SEVEN. There is nothing about his voice that would give away his age. Just the fact that he kinda looks like he needs to pee.

Amazing.

My Victoria is guest hosting American Idol tonight, you guys. Obviously, I’ll be riveted to the TV and unable to post. So here’s a picture for you to make fun of:

You guys, The Bachelor is STILL A SHOW THAT IS ON TV.

Holy crap – I thought that show ended back when Trista and Ryan got married. But it didn’t. It’s STILL ON. And this is a clip from the current series, in which all kinds of HEAVY DRAMA GOES DOWN.

Except that really instead of being dramatic, it’s kind of over the top and stupid.

Chris Harrison (host boy) is hysterical. Maybe he should be the next Bachelor!

Speaking of reality TV, AMERICAN IDOL STARTS TONIGHT! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

GET IT? She’s acting like Ellen because Ellen is taking her place on American Idol!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Paula is so clever! HA HA HA HA HA HA! GET IT???

Wow.

There there, Paula.

You guys – Glee was SO GOOD.  I love that show so much.  And to top off a great show, I just read that Ellen Degeneres is officially going to be American Idol’s 4th judge.

WOOT!!!

Victoria descended upon Boston today for American Idol judging.  Look how completely awesome her SHOES are.   I mean, the dress is a given.  Flawless.  But WOW do I covet her shoes.

And I even love her whole headscarf thing too.  You know why?  Because it is on HER head.  LOVE.

Laura Zigman – if you see her, tell her I love her.  And for God’s sake don’t let Ashley get to her.

It’s really kind of adorable how sad Simon seems over Paula not being there.  But riiiiight when you start sort of thinking, “Aww – it DOES sort of suck that she’s gone” then BLAMMO – cut to Victoria Beckham being positively adorable about filling in.

She’s going to completely fabulousize the crap out of Idol this season.

LOOK at what The Sun is reporting!

They’re saying that my beloved Victoria Beckham could be replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol.  Do you know how completely awesome that would be?  She’d be all, “That was may-jah, dahling” to the people who are awesome, and she’d be a horrendous beyotch to the sucky people, and I would love every single moment of it.

And you KNOW she’d look so fabulous.  I wouldn’t even care about the singing anymore.  I’d watch purely for Victoria’s fashion.

Cross your fingers, you guys!