Reports are surfacing that Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital, and I didn’t bother to read why because LOOK AT AMY WINEHOUSE. Her cheek looks like it’s starting to produce cocaine all by itself.
Tag Archive for 'Amy Winehouse'
I am too lazy to find out what circumstances led to Amy Winehouse posing in this way, but I’d like to believe that this is just one of many easy-to-learn steps to a new line dance. I would like to believe that we’ll all be doing this at weddings within the next 6-12 months.
Far more likely though, is that Amy Winehouse believes someone is standing within kicking distance behind her, and she’s certain that they have refused to give her drugs, even though she has imagined that entire scenario.
Let’s have a caption contest! GO!
Amy Winehouse elbowed and then punched someone in the crowd while she performed this past weekend in the UK. And what’s totally awesome is that someone got it on video and then super slo-mo’d it and put it on repeat play. LOVE.
She’s on the verge of death and totally crazy and all, but I have to give her snaps for calling Kanye West the c-word, which she also did during this performance. At least she has SOME sense.
Enjoy.
You may recall that I told you several days ago that Amy Winehouse collapsed and was sent to the hospital. Well, since then there have been reports that she has tuberculosis and that she DOESN’T have tuberculosis, so I haven’t posted either report. But now, her dad is speaking out about her condition. And it turns out she has emphysema. At 24. Plus, she’s got some lump in her chest and an irregular heartbeat.
You know who could totally straighten out Amy Winehouse? Jeff VanVondern. He is a total badass interventionist who doesn’t put up with her kind of crap. Do you guys watch Intervention on A&E on Mondays? You should. It’s SO GOOD. And whenever Jeff is on there he says to whatever cracked out meth-head he happens to be trying to intervene about, “Here’s what we’re going to do. What I see here is a bunch of people who love you like crazy, and they’re going to say some stuff and you can say some stuff and then we can get out of here.” And most of the time, this totally works. I love him.
p.s. Dear Jeff VanVonderen - I am available to promote your show. I will happily do commercials for you and I don’t sound anything like Mindy Winkler. Please pay me lots of money. Thank you.
This article talks about how Amy Winehouse’s doctors have told her that if she doesn’t quit drugs, she will die. This is supposed to be brand new news.
Really?
Pretty much the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE could have told Amy that, even without wearing a white coat or having a degree in doctoring.
I’m going to make a suggestion to all of you that you stay away from doctors in the UK if you are seriously unhealthy. My bet for tomorrow’s headline: Doctors In The UK Advise Against Removing All Blood From Your Body, As It Could Cause Severe Illness Or Even Death.
Amy Winehouse was reportedly taken to the hospital after fainting earlier. My favorite part of the report was when it said, “Doctors are unsure of the cause of the incident and Amy is currently undergoing tests.”
Are doctors in England this stupid for real? LOOK AT AMY WINEHOUSE. I think the real question here is - how the hell is she defying all logic and reason and still breathing at all? What kind of tests could they possibly be running at this point?
You know what they need? They need some sort of anti-autopsy for Amy Winehouse. Like - a coroner should perform a full body test on her which shows all of the stuff about her body that’s NOT currently contributing to her death. This would be far more telling, I think.
I need you all to see this. Because it’s not fair to me to have to see Amy Winehouse’s skin literally rot off of her face all by myself.
Pleasant dreams.
This is what it looks like when two completely strung out losers try to hug. How Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse are still even alive is beyond me.
…Allow me to show you.
So guess what! She’s been arrested for drug possession! And apparently the evidence is that video clip of her doing drugs from a few months ago. Which is really kind of silly, if you consider that this is how she looks in public on a daily basis, and the only explanation for that is essentially the possession of drugs. Kind of a no brainer, really.
At first, I thought this was just your average run-of-the-mill Amy Winehouse photo, in which she looks a) loaded out of her mind and/or b) way too thin and/or c) unspeakably hideous. But then I noticed that she appears to be levitating, and so I thought it was worth sharing.
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