At first, I thought this was just your average run-of-the-mill Amy Winehouse photo, in which she looks a) loaded out of her mind and/or b) way too thin and/or c) unspeakably hideous. But then I noticed that she appears to be levitating, and so I thought it was worth sharing.
Amy Winehouse, this delicate flower pictured above, was just arrested for headbutting some dude who clearly wasn’t quick enough to distance himself from her germtasticness.
…that Amy Winehouse can’t possibly be any more hideous, she’s photographed looking like this. This was apparently from another night on the town, and reports indicate that she changed clothes once during her outing. As if all of her “outfits” didn’t look exactly like this.
Has Amy Winehouse ever given anyone any reason to think that, if offered a helpless infant to hold, she wouldn’t just simultaneously want to down a shot?
Where is the Mother-Of-The-Year who allowed this photo to even be taken? This kid would be safer in the jaws of a lion than he is in the arms of Amy Winehouse.
Totally Unrelated P.S. - I just want you all to know that I am fully aware that Heidi Montag has come out with a new fashion line and that she also tried to rap on TRL, but I REFUSE to talk about either of those things. Except to say that I hate her at a molecular level.
Amy is hilarious in this video, calling her own performance “a bit of sh*t” to the reporter. I’ve decided, now that I have remembered that Minnie Driver exists, that she should play Amy in the inevitable Amy Winehouse biopic. What do you think?
According to reports, Amy Winehouse is no longer content to snort just your average everyday cocaine up her nose. She’s now resorted to snorting PURE VODKA up her nostril through a straw. I am not making this up.
At this point, I think we should just collectively come up with some self-destructive acts for her to try next. And we could send a list of them to her, as it’s obvious she is consistently trying to up the ante. For instance, we could suggest that she snort toothpicks up her nose hole. Or nails.
This is a great opportunity for some out of the box thinking!
I’m just saying.
So the internet is buzzing today over a video capture of Amy Winehouse smoking crack. As if this is something new. I mean, it’s new that there’s video of it, I suppose. But that’s like getting all excited about a new video of me putting on socks in the morning. You can look at me any given winter day, and see that I have socks on. Taking video of it doesn’t make that news. But for some reason video of Amy Winehouse doing crack is All The Rage.
LOOK AT HER, people. Amy doing crack = Mockarena wearing socks. It’s really just that simple.
Going out for her normal routine of frolicking through meadows, picking daisies, and petting kittens is Amy Winehouse.
Rumor has it that her crackhead husband is threatening divorce, from JAIL, mind you. Because this delicate flower, this bewitching beauty, is apparently not good enough for him. Stay tuned.
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