People is releasing their $14million spread of Brad and Angelina’s new twins, and THEY LOOK LIKE REGULAR BABIES.
I’m totally loving how on various other celebrity blogs, commenters are saying things like, “What’s the big deal? They look like any other babies” as if they expected something completely new and different. Like, they actually thought these babies would look like superbabies or alienbabies or something. They seem genuinely shocked at the normalness of these babies.
I kind of expected them to look pretty much exactly like they look, which is like babies.
Impossibly unfairly gorgeous Angelina had her twins - a boy and a girl, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, proving once and for all that she is incapable of having a boy who DOESN’T have an “X” in his first name somewhere.
Brad was there and everyone is well, blah blah blah.
I kind of have a girl crush on Reese Witherspoon. Not my typical Kat McPhee/Angelina Jolie type of girl crush, where I think I could be fairly easily convinced to make out with either one of them, but the kind of girl crush where I want to sit around and have coffee with Reese Witherspoon, and talk about Jodi Picoult novels and exchange kid stories. That kind.
How adorable is it that her daughter is literally a miniature version of her? Seriously - have you ever seen a kid look more like its parent?
Ok - by now I’m sure you’ve all seen the new Angelina cover of Vanity Fair. You guys, it’s ABSURD how gorgeous she is. I mean, I know she’s been airbrushed and touched up a bit, but wow. I’m in total awe of her beauty.
But you know what I’m NOT in awe of? The fact that she’s all mad at DISNEY for not having African Princesses in their line up of characters. She said, “There still isn’t a Disney princess that’s African and it’s very difficult because our daughter’s getting into princesses right now and it upsets me.”
Seriously, Ange? You of all people know there are bigger societal issues to contend with other than creating more diversity in cartoons.
Gawd.
You guys - Brad Pitt just bought this table and someone convinced him he needed to pay $293,000 for it. Which is insane given that it looks like someone sawed off half of it and this is all that remains.
But you know what? Word on the street is that the bidding for photos of the twins which will soon emerge from Angelina Jolie’s uterine area is up to TWENTY TWO MILLION DOLLARS, all of which will go to charity. So you can hardly blame him for wanting to buy half a table.
This is Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s new house. It comes with its own forest, lake, vineyard, and MOAT. Which is something I find sorely lacking in the homes of all of my friends. Oh sure - I get the occasional lake and forest, but no one I know has a moat. I kind of feel like I would be more fulfilled in life overall if I had routine access to a moat.
In addition to those outdoor amenities, the home also boasts 35 bedrooms, which will be handy as Angelina continues to spill children out of her uterine area by the dozen.
Anyway - i suppose congratulations are in order for the best looking couple on the planet. So now they’re gorgeous, charitable, obscenely wealthy, AND they have a moat. I would hate on them, but on top of all that, they seem genuinely nice too. Jerks.
Various reports indicate that Angelina is supposed to give birth to twins in AUGUST. Which means that she still has 3 months of expansion ahead of her. Which I don’t see as even being possible without the babies just exploding out of her.
Reports are surfacing this evening that Brad and Angelina got married today. Which is pretty irrelevant considering they have like 27 kids together.
This will probably turn out to not be true anyway. But at least you won’t get to say I don’t keep you informed.
I take personal offense to these ridiculous dresses. There is absolutely no reason for anyone, especially someone as hot as Angelina Jolie, to wear dresses that look like really bad curtains. There is a difference between looking pleasantly maternal and looking like you’re wearing a parachute.
Stop it, Angelina. I beg you.
According to this, Jennifer Aniston is going to write a book revealing all sorts of juicy-ness about her marriage to Brad and their subsequent break-up, and Brad’s subsequent transformation into Angelina Jolie’s boyfriend/spermbank.
This could be veeerrrrrry interesting. Even though it’s like the oldest news ever.
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