I don’t know what it is, but I find this completely hilarious. You know Frasier just totally looked at Aretha’s boobs, and is wondering to himself, “How the hell does she not require additional seating for those things.”
Something about the two of them sitting next to each other is so ridiculous to me. What is that hat? And how many pounds of make-up are actually ON her?
An alert and astute mockdocker sent us this photo of a woman who apparently is in the Guiness Book of World Records for having really crooked knees.
KIDDING. She’s in there for having boobs the size of small countries. She’s like a super double ZZZ or something. Like a bra size that someone just made up out of thin air for lack of having enough actual letters to categorize those monstrosities.
But you know what’s worse? The email included photos taken at various angles. And, horrifyingly, there were a couple of photos of those things WITHOUT A BRA to hoist them to waist level. I’m not going to subject you to the full nakedness, but I do believe it’s important for you to see this:
You know you have big boobs when Aretha Franklin looks flat-chested next to you.
I do not consider myself a huge proponent of plastic surgery, but if there has EVER been a perfect candidate for a breast lift, it would have to be Aretha Franklin. Except, I’m not even sure if a standard breast lift would even work in this particular situation. It would have to be more like a breast heave. I mean, at this point, her nipples are pointing directly south, and if they hosited up each boob and say, stapled them onto her shoulders, there would STILL be enough excess boobage to hang down and create a semi-normal outward facing nipular area.
Clearly I could be of assistance, as a consultant of sorts, to her plastic surgery team. Due to my scientific background.
In this article which discusses a recent duet album released by legendary and buxom Aretha Franklin, she describes her lack of offers from Hollywood as a result of continuing racism. She dismisses the fact that Halle Berry and Jennifer Hudson recently won Oscars.
Considering Hollywood’s obsession with weight, I’m pretty sure she’s in denial over why she might not be getting whatever offers she believes she should. I would suggest that she consider a supportive brassiere and some girdles before playing the race card.
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