So every week, we here at the Mock Dock get a report which shows us essentially how many people are reading our site, and what sites are referring people to us, and what keywords people search on to reach us. It’s all quite fascinating really. And, as Holmes and Dame and Bunny and Gabone will attest, I’m kind of obsessed with it. It’s because I’m endlessly intrigued by what would compel the average everyday internet user to land here at the Mock Dock. Someday, when we have more than 32 readers, maybe we’ll even do a poll about how you all happened to find us. I’m really curious!
But here is what is sort of troubling. EVERY SINGLE WEEK, without fail, it turns out that somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-40 people end up here because they searched the internet for information on LICKING ARMPITS. I am not making this up. And the reason they end up here is because of this post. And this one. And this one, in which I actually make fun of the whole phenomenon.
So I feel kind of torn about this, because on one hand I’m grateful for the visits. You never know when an armpit licker might decide to drop in and become a regular frequenter of the Mock Dock. On the other hand, do I really want armpit lickers to be amongst our faithful viewers? I don’t know. I love my husband more than words can possibly describe, but even if he shaved his armpit bare, and applied Hacienda salsa to it, the best most delicious salsa ever created, I would still be uninterested in licking it.
Perhaps one of you armpit lickers out there could enlighten me on this ever-so-mysterious fetish of yours. You are welcome to comment anonymously. I just want to understand what could possibly be arousing about applying one’s tongue to someone else’s armpit.
Help a sister out.
p.s. I bet we get like 50 new readers out of this post. 
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