Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz a baby boy last night, and they have named him Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Ashlee had said during her pregnancy, “My friend said it—you’ve gotta have a baby with a name that could be a rock star or a senator, so he’ll get work either way.”
Yeah.
This kid might be a rock star, and he might be a senator, but he will DEFINITELY be beaten up on the playground with a name like that.
Flopping your boobs around when you become pregnant. Why do women, especially those who are famous, feel a need to put their prego-boobs on full display as soon as they become hormone-engorged? NOT NECESSARY. Boobs get bigger during pregnancy. We get it, Ashlee Simpson. Please reinsert them into your clothing now.
Ashlee and Jessica Simpson are RIDICULOUS in this photo. Like, Olsen Twins ridiculous. And Jessica kind of looks like she’s about to stick out a big long lizard tongue. Seriously, they’re both verging on reptilian here.
Get it? “Picked”? I kill me.
Anyway, here’s a photo of Pete Wentz, fiance of Ashlee Simpson and more than likely soon to be the father of the child growing inside her uterine area, which she is currently denying the existence of.
You know what I am getting really tired of? Ashlee Simpson refusing to confirm or deny crap. She didn’t own up to her stupid nose job until like 2 years after the fact, and now she refuses to admit that she’s pregnant, while simultaneously refusing to deny that she’s pregnant.
She said, “That’s a rumor that’s been going around for a year now. Only time will tell with that. But I am giving birth to my new record!” Seriously how much does that make you want to vomit? Could she possibly be any more self-promoting and self-serving and self-absorbed and any other applicable self hyphenations?
At this point, I’m actually surprised she admitted to being engaged. She could have said, “Oh this 10 carat old thing? Isn’t it amazing how it’s kind of shaped like a CD? One of which I am about to release this month?”
Hate.
Ashlee Simpson is apparently pregnant with her now-fiance, Pete Wentz. And I don’t know about you, but there is very little about Ashlee Simpson or Pete Wentz that gives me any sort of confidence in their ability to raise a child.
Side note: What’s happening with her claw hand in this picture?
There are probably a total of 4 people on the planet who care about this news, but I thought on the off chance that Joe Simpson reads this blog, I’d go ahead and post it.
No word yet on the wedding date, but it’s probably practically guaranteed that Joe Simpson will attend the honeymoon.
I don’t expect you to suffer through this entire video. But watch a little, and tell me if you do not agree that Ashlee Simpson is one of the most retarded people on the planet. Her giggle ranks right up there with nails on a chalkboard and that sound that Jim Carrey made in Dumb and Dumber as one of the most horrible noises of all time.
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