The Mock Dock

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo of Beyonce, and I am totally baffled by how someone could put together clothing which looks like it was retrieved from a dumpster, with one of the most fabulous pairs of shoes I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Why would she ruin awesome shoes like this?  Why?

Doesn’t she know it’s my birthday weekend?

BEHOLD: the latest video from Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce, and what can only be described as one of the dumbest things I’ve ever spent nine minutes and 32 seconds watching.

You’ve been warned.

Now, that said, I have to admit Lady Gaga’s tunes are catchy. She is far more tolerable, for example, on radio – where you don’t actually have to LOOK at her.

Beware: Copying that COMPLETELY TIRED AND TOTALLY OVEREXPOSED Beyonce song can cause injury and bodily harm.

You’ve been warned.

BEHOLD:  TMZ’s obtained copy of the lunch tab for Jay-Z and Beyonce from a few days back at some swank restaurant in NYC.

You guys, they spent almost fifty thousand dollars on LUNCH.  And then there was an automatic 20% (over $7000) added for gratuity, and THEN they were nice enough to throw down an additional five thousand. 

FOR LUNCH.

You realize, of course, that this is a healthy ANNUAL SALARY for many people. 

Am I the only one who can’t even identify what half the stuff on that receipt even IS?

UPDATE: Apparently TMZ is now saying it wasn’t Beyonce and Jay-Z, but some Russian billionaire dude. Which has absolutely no bearing on my horror over a $50,000+ lunch tab whatsoever.

I know you guys have been discussing this in the comments of the Kanye post of last night, but in case someone hasn’t seen this awesomeness, it’s worth posting.

Beyonce = My New Hero.

And those are the SYTYCD dancers! Which by the way, premieres again tomorrow, along with Glee, at the exact same time that Obama has his, like, 84 zillionth press conference.

What’s a girl to do?

I’m headed to bed in a few, but couldn’t resist leaving you with this landbeast beyonce tribute. This cat’s got some moves, and I appreciate his amateur attempts at special effects throughout the performance. However, I do not appreciate his jorts.

Perhaps she and Adam Lambert could have a Who-Sounds-More-Like-A-Dying-Cat contest.

UPDATE:  Well, crap.  This was a hoax, I guess.  It’s so much less fun now that she actually for real has a good voice.

BEHOLD: Beyonce singing Alanis’ You Oughta Know, in what appears to be an adult sized diaper.

This does not work for me.

Let me just say – I love gay men. LOVE them. My last hair dresser was a gay man and I adore him. And I’m one of those weird conservatives who believes that gayness is something you’re pretty much born with. But if there is any truth to the notion that environment plays a role in gayness, then whoever the parents of these boys are should realize that they are proooobably contributing.