The Mock Dock

I got a really nice summer robe from my folks along with a new bottle of my most favorite perfume ever, Pleasures Intense.  Because I don’t settle for just plain old pleasures.  I prefer the intense kind.  This was after I got fed my favorite beef ‘n noodles meal and had yummy bread and cheese and salad and then had cheesecake for dessert.

And it occurred to me that I had written about Pleasures Intense waaaaay back when I first discovered it, so I did a search on that name here on The Mock Dock, and it took me to this post about it. And I re-read that post, and I don’t like to brag or anything, but I was pretty funny in it.  Especially the part about the tampons.

I kill me.

Anyway, today I had Hacienda chips and salsa for breakfast, in honor of my birthday + 3 days.

I’ll keep you apprised of any and all new birthday developments.

Mini-Mock has been working very hard lately on perfecting the “th” and “r” sounds, which if you have itty bitty kids you know can be tough! So what better way to practice than by singing the Happy Birrrrtttthhhhday Song?

Seriously. Is he just not the cutest thing ever?

Folks at work have been great. I have four little wind-up jumping monkeys on my desk, a huuuuuge bag of laffy taffy, a giant birthday sign, and blow-up monkey to hang on my door, and this hat:

Unfortunately, Mr. Mock is traveling, which is pretty much ALWAYS the case on my birthday, and Daisy’s in Mexico, and so I’m not doing anything particularly exciting tonight except hanging with my boys, catching up on some SYTYCD episodes, and, you know, mocking stuff for you guys. But I’m sure Mr. Mock will make it up to me, as he always does. And Daisy already made birthday plans with me when she gets back, and tomorrow I’m shopping with my sis and going to Hacienda, and then I have lunch at my folks’ house on Sunday. So as usual, my birthday is going to last for days and days. YAY!

Prince. That sexy little beast. He is FIFTY FREAKING TWO, you guys, as of yesterday.

But he’s still a sexy little beast.

I think most of you old-timers know that when it comes to my birthday, I typically like to celebrate it for as long as possible. Remember last year? I celebrated it for like 2 straight months, and then I got to RE-celebrate it 6 months later when Mr. Mock and I went to Mexico (which was my present from him). Last year was a Big Birthday, so obviously this year won’t be quite as fantabulous, but still, I love birthdays. Not so much the getting older part, but all the other parts. LOVE.

It’s already the 7th of June, and that means I have behaved myself so well that it’s been a FULL WEEK that I haven’t mentioned that it’s my birthday month (well, at least to you guys. I’ve mentioned it to Mr. Mock at least six times).

Tonight, it will be my birthday eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve. Just fyi.

And because I’m already feeling celebratory and extra jovial, here’s a picture of Mini-Mock when he was not quite two years old and I tried to make him dress up like a baby chick for Halloween.

Mini-Mock was not amused.

I just got home from my glorious girlfriend getaway weekend, after having a deliciously decadent breakfast and an hour long manicure this morning, and in about an hour I’m heading over to my mom’s for my official family birthday dinner, at which I will get to eat her famous beef and noodles, and then I PROMISE I am totally done celebrating, you guys.

Here’s what I’m worried is happening.  The more I celebrate my birthday, the more celebrities keep dying.  I just learned that BILLY FREAKING MAYS died now.  I’m starting to think that there’s some sort of weird cause-and-effect thing happening here, and I feel bad now.  I’m like some sort of freaky birthday killer, and I don’t really want a horror movie being made about me, so at approximately 7.3opm this evening, all celebrating will come to a close.  Hopefully, celebrities can just keep themselves out of trouble between now and 7.30pm.

And as a day-after birthday present to myself, I’m posting this wretched photo that an alert and astute mockdocker sent me of this wretched beast of a woman.

You know what Holmes said about Kate Gosselin at lunch today?  He said it’s just a matter of time before she’s posing nude for Playboy or some other publication.  He’s probably right.  This is just a tiny bit of blue fabric away from that anyway.

First of all, can I just tell you how RIDICULOUS it is that I’m 40?  It’s absurd, really, given how positively immature I am.  I have no business being 40.  But 40 I am, and as it happens, it was actually quite fun TURNING 40.

You can all attest to just how long this 40th birthday has lasted.  I’ve been talking about it for weeks now, right?  And you’re probably all, “ENOUGH already, Mock. Jeez.”  And I don’t blame you, really – because it’s obnoxious.  Which is precisely why I shouldn’t be 40 in the first place.

Anyway, Mr. Mock left for the airport this morning before I woke up, but he left me the sweetest love letter on the kitchen counter.  Granted, I had told him a couple of weeks ago that I wanted him to write me a love letter, but still.  He DID it.  And it was precious.  And so that’s how my day started.  I went to wake up Mini-Mock, and while he was rubbing his eyes and stretching and still looking all bleary-eyed, I said, “Good morning, sunshine! Today is Mommy’s birthday!” to which he replied, voice still heavy with sleep, “Can I have some cake now?”

LOVE.

I got to work, and this was my office:

I found out later the decorations were courtesy one of my HR co-workers.  SO sweet!  And my other HR co-worker brought me a set of L’Occitane travel size toiletries for my trip to West Baden, and the most precious teeny tiny Happy Birthday cake from Taylor’s Bakery – YUM.  And my boss brought me cupcakes that had monkeys on them.  And our Controller brought me 3 bottles of wine and 3 bars of fancy chocolate.  And my CFO brought me MORE chocolate and a magazine about cooking, which was really just a joke  - he was fully prepared for me to look at it, blankly, unable to register its purpose.  And Daisy brought me the most adorable little cosmetics bag with a picture of us on it with our pink wigs, and a cute little nightgown from Victoria’s Secret, and she gave me like 18 cards.  And because my office is centrally located, lots and lots of people stopped by to wish me a happy day, and I will just tell you all right now – I ATE IT UP.  I LOVE being fussed over.

Bunny and I headed to Hacienda for an early dinner, and we ate so much that we literally could not move from our seats for a good hour after finishing.  It was really good sister time.  And when I came home a couple hours ago, Mini-Mock greeted me by singing Happy Birthday at the top of his lungs, and it was so sweet that if I hadn’t already been stuffed full of Hacienda, I would have eaten him too.

And now, I’m relaxing, catching up on the news, and, you know, sitting around being 40.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes!  Regular mockiness will resume later tonight or tomorrow!

Perhaps it’s self-indulgent, but I have decided that it’s my 40th birthday eve, you guys, and so I deserve a little self-indulgence. And these pictures make me happy, even if they’re repeats. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE TO ME!!!

Just don’t even try to understand it.  Just go with it.

You guys – I have, including today, only THREE DAYS remaining to enjoy my 30′s.   So you know what?  I am going to enjoy the crap out of them.  I got absolutely no sleep last night – no idea why (even Junior Mock slept till 4!) and I’m staying up late tonight for Obsessed, and I don’t care how exhausted I am – I am DETERMINED to have a fabulous three days.  I don’t care that I have to work all week and that it’s crappy outside and that the vending machine stole my dollar and did not give me a poptart in return.  This is going to be a fabulous birthday week no matter how much the forces of vending machine evil try to bring me down.  

And seriously – how can you look at that photo above and NOT have a great day afterwards?

You can’t.   They are far too jolly.

Have a mocktastic Monday, you guys!

…my birthday this year is going to last for the entire month of June, beginning now.

I loooooove when birthdays get dragged out for days and days. And you may recall that today is the official start of my 40th birthday celebrating, even though I do not in fact TURN 40 until the 25th.

And it’s already been a great day so far! Mr. Mock took Mini-Mock to go look at hot rods, and so for the whole morning, I’ve been lounging in the sun, and finishing up a book, and hanging out with Junior Mock, who has not whined ONCE all morning long. I think the cortisone shot really helped him, and I think he’s finally turned a corner from the trauma of back surgery and is starting to act like his old normal self again.

Yesterday, I arrived home from work to find that the house was totally spotless, thanks to Mr. Mock. Normally Saturday mornings are when we clean, but since he already did it all on his day off, I’ve had absolutely NO responsibility for anything today. LOVE.

Tonight, we’re heading to our fancy dinner, at which time the big vacation destination reveal will occur (I hope!) and then we’re going to go see The Hangover. Both the boys are staying with Grandma and Grandpa Mock tonight, which means that Mr. Mock and I will get to sleep in a bit, and then we’re taking Mr. Mock’s happy car to the Coach outlet store to BROWSE, and then we’re heading to Daisy’s house to visit her and her giraffes dogs.

I am starting think that this whole turning 40 business isn’t so bad after all.