The Mock Dock

Brad Pitt is slowly morphing into Billy Bob Thornton.

Angelina clearly will not rest until the transformation is complete.

Do you see it???

If you have an explanation for this, I would love to hear it.

I forgot how many kids Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had.  It’s a lot.

You know what’s awesome?  I don’t remember any of the kids’ names.  Do you realize what that means?

I’ve grown.

You cannot tell me that this isn’t a fantastically gorgeous couple. I mean, they may not be David and Victoria, but they’re in the same sphere of gorgeousness.

Plus, a dude who can carry off a beret, OUTSIDE of the armed forces,  and maintain total masculinity?  Hot.

You know what color Angie’s wearing?  Crapteuse.  I can’t remember if we’ve discussed that color here at the Mock Dock before, but there is no question about it.  That’s crap and chartreuse combo if I’ve ever seen one.

Remember when they were both stunningly gorgeous?  What has HAPPENED to Brangelina?

You know what else is disappointing?  I have another laptop virus.  This one is different than the porn one.  This one causes internet explorer to open like skatey eight billion windows at once, so fast that I can’t even begin to close them all, to the point were everything just locks up and crashes.  Yeah.  It’s neat.

So, I’m mac-ifying this evening.  Because I can always count on my mac.

I still think virus creators deserve no less than the death penalty.

This is a painting by Neo Rauche called Etappe, painted in 1998.  It’s all racecar-y and cool, right?  I mean, I’d be fine with it hanging on a wall in my basement, maybe above a pool table or pinball machine or something, if in fact I had a basement with those items in it.

Brad Pitt, on the other hand, loooooooooooooooves this painting, and just bought it from a gallery in Switzerland for a MILLION DOLLARS. 

This has got to be one of those moments where Brad Pitt HAS to stop and think, ‘HOLY CRAP I have a lot of money.”  Right?  I mean, I’d go to my local art fair and really have to consider the pros and cons of spending, say, $50 on any one particular item.  Because I’d be thinking, “Well, this COULD be used for the purchase of new shoes, or a dinner out” etc. etc.  Whereas Brad Pitt is probably thinking, “Hmm.  This COULD be used for the purchase of an entire island or small country.”

Anyway, I still think this painting is only basement wall worthy.  But then again, I know JACK about art.

THIS is what Ann Curry meant to do to Brad Pitt, but lost her nerve (see the post below if that makes no sense to you).

This is just gross.  I mean, what is Paris now – a German Shepherd?

Seriously – you’re a professional journalist/reporter and you’re going to STROKE BRAD PITT’S FACE when you interview him about his new movie?

This is practically uncomfortable to watch, only because Ann is barely able to contain her own drool. I’m surprised she didn’t just go ahead and lick him.

Is it just me, or does it look like Angelina’s forehead is bigger than usual?  And I don’t mean that as criticism, because believe me, I am not one to talk about big foreheads.  In fact, I’m happy to see her join the big forehead club. 

You know what they say about big foreheads, right?

GORGEOUS, is what I believe they say.  I could be wrong.  But it’s what I like to tell myself.

I’m annoyed that people harp on Jennifer Aniston for mentioning Brad Pitt in pretty much every interview she ever does ever.

This recent article actually suggests that Angelina Jolie is all furious about it.  She’s apparently, according to a source, “…absolutely sick of Jennifer dragging up Brad’s name in interviews. As far as she’s concerned, it’s just a pathetic attempt to cause trouble between her and Brad.”

Now – I’m not nearly interested enough in this story to begin with to actually choose a side here.  I don’t care if Angelina is mad at Jennifer or if Jennifer is mad at Angelina.  I tend to think that neither of them really gives a rat’s assular area about the other.

But here’s what is starting to get annoying.  Everyone who complains about Jennifer mentioning Brad in every interview is failing to realize that every interviewer who ever interviews Jennifer ASKS HER ABOUT BRAD.  I guarantee you that Jennifer doesn’t WANT to talk about Brad.  But she is being polite and answering these lame-ass questions that all of these idiotic interviewers keep asking her about him, because if she didn’t, they’d accuse her of being a total beyotch.

So here’s an idea for all the people that don’t want Jennifer to talk about Brad.  STOP ASKING HER ABOUT HIM.

There.  Rant over.  I feel better now.