Being sickeningly gorgeous and gag-aliciously affectionate with one another are Angelina Jolie and man-mate Brad Pitt at the SAG awards. She’s wearing a tent, which you can’t really see in this photo because I chose to sicken you with their undying love for each other instead of showing you the dress, but let’s just say this - it did NOTHING to dispel the pregnant-with-twins rumor.
Dear Angelina: Remember back in the day when you carried Billy Bob Thornton’s blood in a vial around your neck? And when you would have sex with him in the limo on the way to award shows and brag to interviewers about it? And when you made out with your brother wearing a ridiculous goth outfit that made you look like Elvira? And then remember how you got all hideously thin?
Where has that Angelina gone? You used to give us a reason to mock you. And now you’re all gorgeous and perfect and altruistic and motherly and charitable and you’re boinking a guy most women think is hotter than the sun. And you have a nice rack. Real ones even.
To this I say: Enough already. Can’t you get caught picking your nose on camera or something? Or say something outrageous or go back to cutting yourself or SOMETHING? Please, Ange. For me. For the MockDock. It’d mean a lot.
Warmest Regards,
Mockarena
Either Brad Pitt used to be gay, or he just got finished auditioning for Wham! when this photo was taken.
Oh wait. That would still make him gay.
I have no further explanation for this hair.
Brangelina (Or AngelPitt - which I prefer) were greeting their fans at some hoity toity event the other day, when a random reporter shouted out, “Show of hands - Who here has an eating disorder?” Ange was pleased to find she wasn’t alone.
So Brad Pitt was just accosted by the woman in the above picture at the Venice Film Festival. She didn’t want to hurt him - she just wanted a big fat hug.
Brad was flanked by several beefy security guards who he obviously needs to replace as soon as possible.
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