Remember when I posted about Chief Bratton before? Well, I continue to love him, and he continues to say the best stuff ever. Today, he said that the whole paparazzi issue has calmed down substantially since “Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don’t seem to have much of an issue.” How great is that?
He was speaking about some dumb proposal that creates really dumb, completely unenforceable laws to crack down on the paparazzi, when in fact, it’s the celebrities themselves causing much of the commotion. He said further, “If the ones that attract the paparazzi behave in the first place, like we expect of anybody, that solves about 90 percent of the problem. The rest we can deal with.“
You can just tell how much he loves celebrities, can’t you? I mean, the love is just ooooozing out of him. I totally agree with him, except that it’s kind of a bummer for us at the Mock Dock when celebrities behave.
How much do you love that he totally called out Lindsay Lohan for “going gay”? SO great.
Jim Carrey and Jenny McCartney hosted some sort of event and Britney Spears showed up and looked like a normal, yet sort of broken, dead-in-the-eyes version of her former self.
That aside, WTF is going on with Jenny McCartney’s choice of footwear? I totally love her dress, but she had to go ruin it with slouchy ankle boots. Disastrous. And Jim Carrey looks like he should be hospitalized for something.
The Britney/Kevin child custody battle is over. Kevin has won sole legal and physical custody and Britney will continue to get visitation, which could increase in the future if she continues to not be as much of a lunatic as she was a few months ago.
Let’s face it. Those kids were screwed no matter how this all played out in court.
Avoid being photographed by hovering helicopter-flying paparazzi. Aerial shots make you look braless, kinda hefty, and like the victim of a prematurely receding hairline.
What sort of design genius came up with this? I don’t even understand how it’s supposed to fit, if it were to actually fit someone, which in Britney’s case it clearly doesn’t.
So I was pretty excited about that Zohan movie coming out, because based on the previews I had high hopes that it could actually be quite funny. But after seeing this clip, in which that beast - Mariah Carey - makes a cameo, I am officially refusing to see it.
You know who could really provide some helpful tips to Mariah to improve her acting skills?
Britney Spears. That’s how bad Mariah is. Mariah should now be aspiring to reach the same acting heights of Britney Spears.
According to this, Britney Spears is being considered for the Broadway production of Grease. And I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Aww - it’s nice of them to let Britney play the school cook.” But you guys - they want her to play SANDY. As in the lead. As in the part that Olivia Newton John made famous.
This is completely ridiculous for two reasons. First, because look what Britney Spears looks like today. The girl is unable to make herself presentable in public. Secondly, the last time I went to a Broadway musical, the music was live. As in not lip synced. “Live” and “Britney” = Disaster.
If this is true, I sooooo want to go see it. And I will sneak in a video camera like Jerry Seinfeld did to bootleg those movies for Kramer, so that you can all enjoy the freakshow.
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