OK Magazine has an article which describes the feuding going on between Brooke Hogan and her mother, and you guys, it’s getting sooooo ridiculously juicy.
Apparently, ever since Brooke’s mom started dating a guy that is YOUNGER THAN BROOKE, they haven’t really been on the best of terms. And the relationship has soured even further recently, as Brooke has accused her mother of using drugs.
So naturally, Linda Hogan did what any other reasonable mom who’s dating a dude younger than her daughter would do: she fired off a letter to Perez Hilton to respond to her daughter publicly. In the letter, Linda says, essentially, “Oh yeah?? Well Brooke has breast implants!!!” As if this was going to shock ANYONE.
But it gets better. The letter also said this: “[If] Brooke continues to spew lies on behalf of her father’s lame attempt to distance himself from the reality that he is no different from the homicidal OJ Simpson, [Linda's new boyfriend] will be forced to put aside his paramedic/firefighting career path and release an album called ‘Redemption’ which will easily surpass any of Brooke’s records sales.”
Do you realize what’s happening here? Linda Hogan is threatening to have her boyfriend release an album which is better than Brooke’s, instead of becoming a firefighter. And she’s using this threat as a way to respond to an accusation that she’s on drugs. You know, I didn’t think Linda Hogan was a drug user UNTIL I saw that threat. So I think that kind of backfired on her.
Remember when I told you guys about this dude Stack$ who Brooke Hogan is apparently dating? This is a screen shot of him from a video that they’re making together for her new “song” Falling (and those quotations are not misplaced, by the way).
You guys, are you as freaked out by the length of his index finger as I am? LOOK at that thing.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Awww – that’s sweet that Gigantor Brooke Hogan is participating in the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program with what could possibly be an underprivileged youth.”
But you guys – that’s her BOYFRIEND. And his name is Yannique Barker. But because he’s an aspiring rap star, he of course has a stage name. Which of course has a dollar sign in it. Yes. His name is Stack$.
I would like to just proclaim right now that my rap star name is &%#@. Do I get to be famous now?
Finally. Brooke realizes her calling. I’m hoping that this means that whole “singing” career thing she was trying to do is over. She’s much more well-suited for this.
BEHOLD: A message from Brooke Hogan to her fans, in which she asks for their input in naming her next album.
I have issues with this. First of all, I had no idea that Brooke Hogan actually had an entire first album. I know she did a song with some dude named Paul Wall, and that in the video she wore gold teeth. It was a dreadful song, and so to think that it’s just one of a collection of songs? Yikes.
So now there’s a SECOND album coming out? Who bought the first one??
Brooke thinks she’s coming up with all sorts of “sexual inuendos” in the 27 seconds that YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK if you watch this. Consider yourself warned.
You know who should never try to out-sing Kelly Clarkson? Brooke Hogan. In fact, you know who should never try to out-sing anybody? Brooke Hogan. Above – Kelly Clarkson’s new single. Below – Kelly Clarkson’s new single being butchered by Brooke Hogan.
Could we figure out a way to eliminate the entire Hogan family from the public conscience somehow? I mean, after this post?
This. I hate when people in 85 degree weather wear winter boots. The fact that it’s gigantor herself, Brooke Hogan, doesn’t help matters any. Can we blame Pamela Anderson for this? Wasn’t she sort of the originator of this look?
Anyway, I would like to see these same celebrities who insist on wearing Uggs with minidresses or shorts, visit a state that actually HAS winter, and I want to see them wear a winter coat with flip flops. Just to create a little balance.
Wow. If not for the strand of diamonds slung around her waist, I would have submitted to you that this outfit was inappropriate. Nice save, Brooke. Nothing classes up an outfit more than a waistlet.
Seriously – I know it’s mean to say, but she miiiight be too stupid to continue existing. This is 9 minute video, but you only need to listen to like, the first 2 minutes unless you’re really interested in her boobs, her mom’s boobs, her Aunt Christie’s boobs, and her penchant for spanking (or lack thereof). The main thing you need to know is that she doesn’t know who our CURRENT VICE PRESIDENT IS. But she had two good reasons for not knowing that, which included a) “there are too many frickin’ people in office! and b) “I watch, like, NO TV.”
So you see, she can’t possibly be expected to keep up with trivial details like who’s helping run our country and stuff.
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