This. I hate when people in 85 degree weather wear winter boots. The fact that it’s gigantor herself, Brooke Hogan, doesn’t help matters any. Can we blame Pamela Anderson for this? Wasn’t she sort of the originator of this look?
Anyway, I would like to see these same celebrities who insist on wearing Uggs with minidresses or shorts, visit a state that actually HAS winter, and I want to see them wear a winter coat with flip flops. Just to create a little balance.
Wow. If not for the strand of diamonds slung around her waist, I would have submitted to you that this outfit was inappropriate. Nice save, Brooke. Nothing classes up an outfit more than a waistlet.
Seriously - I know it’s mean to say, but she miiiight be too stupid to continue existing. This is 9 minute video, but you only need to listen to like, the first 2 minutes unless you’re really interested in her boobs, her mom’s boobs, her Aunt Christie’s boobs, and her penchant for spanking (or lack thereof). The main thing you need to know is that she doesn’t know who our CURRENT VICE PRESIDENT IS. But she had two good reasons for not knowing that, which included a) “there are too many frickin’ people in office! and b) “I watch, like, NO TV.”
So you see, she can’t possibly be expected to keep up with trivial details like who’s helping run our country and stuff.
Ok. So this photo is old, because it was a good year ago that Brooke Hogan wore this rag. I don’t recall the event, and I certainly have no idea who this absurdly small man is beside her. But I just thought I’d give you some insight as to what goes through my head when I see such a photo. What you’re about to witness is my actual train of thought.
Holy crap. I had forgotten all about that dress. Wait. Who can even call that a dress. That’s all that remains from a fight between a leopard and really really gay man. My GOD that girl is tall. How tall IS she for crying out loud? That’s an ADULT MALE next to her. Although, as I look at him I can’t help but think he doesn’t have pubic hair. Why the hell am I thinking about his pubic hair? I wonder if he’s ever made out with a girl. OMG wouldn’t it be hilarious if he and Brooke were a couple? How would that even WORK? OMG now I’m getting a visual. Noooooooooooooooooo.
Now you have a visual too, don’t you?
You’re welcome.
Brooke Hogan outdid herself on her show “Brooke Knows Best” the other day, when she said, “You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”
To be fair to Brooke, this could have been taped when a woman was ACTUALLY running for President, but
to be fair to the rest of the thinking population, this was probably taped last week, and Brooke is just completely out of touch with what’s going on in the world around her.
Brooke Hogan is not a virgin. I know. It’s shocking. While she doesn’t say DIRECTLY that she’s had relations of a sexual nature, she does say, “I’m not, like, a saint” and giggles and basically does everything you can do to inform a person you’re sexually active except say the words and/or have sex with them right then and there.
Guess how she justifies Hulk Hogan, her DAD, rubbing lotion all over her butt? By informing us that “he’s changed my diapers, like seriously.” You guys, she really is that stupid.
Behold: Brooke Hogan striking a pose on the beach for some recent photo shoot. I’m pretty sure that the photographer was going for “sultry” and “seductive” and instead, what we have here is “trying too hard.” Which brings me to my point.
If I was in a modeling situation of any sort, and a photographer asked me to pose seductively and put on a sensuous pout or just in general look sexy at the camera, I would erupt in a fit of giggles almost instantaneously. If you were to see pretty much any photograph of me that has ever been taken ever, you would find me facesmashing with whoever is in the photo with me, beaming so hard that my face could practically split open with happiness. That is just how I look in pictures. I am incapable of looking anything other than totally overjoyed.
Now, I think Mr. Mock would back me up on the fact that I can, in fact, BE sexy. But not on camera. At the first sight of a camera, I beam. It’s instinctive and basically impossible to control at this point.
So see? Modeling is out. And you know what, it really should be for Brooke Hogan too. She looks ridiculous here. She looks more like the sun is in her eyes than she does seductive.
So this is Brooke Hogan “performing” at some mansion in Miami front of helpless victims. Well, I would consider them all helpless victims EXCEPT for one notable exception - namely, her DAD. Yup - he was there with his brookalike girlfriend.
All together now. EEEEEEEEEEW.
Several pics of Linda Hogan and her new boyfriend - this NINETEEN YEAR OLD, are floating around this morning. Which I’m sure means that’s a glass of water he’s sporting there. I don’t know exactly how old she is, but I’m guessing it’s at least double this dude’s age. And what’s disturbing to me about this is that he looks like her son, much like Hulk’s girlfriend looks like his daughter. That’s just plain creepy.
Brooke and Nick just need to start dating each other (once Nick is out of jail) and then it’ll be like a full cycle of creepiness has completed.
Only this time instead of Miley and Billy it’s Brooke and Hulk. There was another shot with Hulk’s hand perilously close to Brooke’s crotchular area, but I decided to spare you too much creepiness and just show you the upper thigh move.
You’re welcome.
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