The Mock Dock

I know you guys aren’t used to me being snarky about celebrities, and that it’s TOTALLY out of character for me, but I need to be able to speak freely for a moment about Katie Holmes’ body.

It’s weird.

I know she can’t help it, but you guys, she has the longest torso EVER.  Like – unusually, bizarrely long.  And it makes her legs look like tree stumps. And you know what exacerbates that?  THOSE HORRIBLE SHOES.

Even her daughter Suri knows that a slight heel elongates the legs, and Suri is three years old.  Could they not share a stylist?

Now, lest you think I’m just horribly mean to celebrities without ever giving them a break, I want to show you someone that looks absolutely perfect:

Carrie Underwood is FLAWLESS.  See?  I’m not always mean.

If they’d figured out a way to get Kelly Clarkson into this mix, the world would have imploded out of the sheer perfection of it.

LOVE.

The impossibly gorgeous and talented Carrie Underwood had this to say in an upcoming magazine article:

“There is someone I do support, but I don’t support publicly.  I lose all respect for celebrities when they back a candidate.  It’s saying that the American public isn’t smart enough to make their own decisions.  I would never want anybody to vote for anything or anybody just because I told them to.”

Seriously – how awesome is that?  Ashley Judd – you could learn a thing or two from Carrie. 

Except for the part when Carrie Underwood won American Idol and proceeded to lose half her body weight, I generally enjoy and don’t hate on her.  But this dress is Out Of Control.  I don’t even think  you’d see a great grandma wear this ruffled explosion to a funeral.