The Mock Dock

Yeah.  This didn’t help.   And you know what made it even worse than Halle Berry looking like the perfection that she always is?  COURTNEY LOVE LOOKING AWESOME.

Courtney Love isn’t even having an ugly day with me, you guys.

Today sucks.

I feel like maybe if she stopped wearing pink make-up, perhaps she wouldn’t look quite so corpse-like.  <–(Note to Obama:  That is actually pronounced “corpse-like”).

Day 3 = carbon copy of Day 2, except that today we watched the sunset and ate a really big breakfast.  Otherwise, totally the same day as yesterday.

Oh – and I saw a mockworthy person on the beach!  Total speedo man.  Took pics, but since I can’t load them STILL, you’ll have to wait till Saturday to see them.  Being unable to load pics really blows.

The missing luggage couple?  GOT THEIR LUGGAGE.  So lucky.  Dude got another cab and tooled around the island until he found the original cabbie and got his suitcase back.  Can you believe it?  I was so happy for them.  And this morning, because Mr. Mock and I went to bed last night at like 9pm, we were up around 6.30, and I looked out the window and the missing luggage couple was on the beach with their two little kiddos (one toddler, one brand new baby) and they were watching the sunrise together, and it was SO SWEET.

In other news, my hair still hates it here, but it’s much blonder now.

We got to talk to Mini-Mock on the phone for a brief few minutes – and he said, “Hi Mommy – I want you and daddy to come home now” which I thought was precious until he said to Mr. Mock, “Daddy – can you come home and set up Lightning McQueen for me?” and I realized he couldn’t care less that we’re gone, he’s just really wanting to watch that movie and grandma doesn’t know how to set up the DVD player for him.

I checked out the celebrity gossip a bit, and here’s a quick summary of the crap that’s going on:

1.  Courtney Love lost custody of Frances Bean, who is seventeen, because Courtney Love isn’t fit to properly parent a pet rock, let alone an Actual Human.
2.  Kourtney Kardashian had a baby boy, and named it Mason Dash.  Which totally reminded me of Daisy’s sister telling her about a baby born in the hospital in which she works, and the mother naming it Ta-a.  Only you pronounce it Tadasha.  Because of the dash.  Can you even believe that?  Have I already told you guys that story?  I’ve had a lot of daquiris, so if you’ve already heard that, sorry.
3.  Tom Brady and Gisele had their kid several days ago, a boy, and apparently are far too busy to assign a NAME to their child.  Tom’s been traveling, and says they basically just really haven’t had a chance to give it some good discussion time.  So, you know, there’s some totally fabulous looking nameless kid out there now.

Anyway, that’s all the celebrity nonsense I can muster for today with no photo-uploading capability.  It’s so much more fun to mock them when you can use a picture.

So, we have another busy busy day tomorrow of eating, sleeping, and laying around.  We do actually have plans to do the golf-cart-around-the-island thing sometime this week, but haven’t yet because we’re so EXHAUSTED from how busy we’ve been eating, sleeping and laying around.

More tomorrow, mockdockers!

They even kinda look alike.

Courtney Love had this to say on her myspace blog earlier today:

Yeah. 

I’m pretty certain she’s talking about Obama’s economic policy here.  It’s either that or nuclear fusion.  I’m sure of it.

I’m perfectly aware that me telling you that Courtney Love is psychotic has the equivalent element of surprise as me telling you that humans require oxygen to breathe, but you guys, Courtney Love is PSYCHOTIC.

According to this, Courtney Love spent around $12,000 on a dead bird in a box.  I am not making this up.

Courtney was moving out of a rental house into a regular house, and movers saw a dead bird in a box and figured, “Yeah – this is probably garbage” because it was a DEAD BIRD IN A BOX.  So they threw it away.  And Courtney Love is flipping. the freak. out about it.

See, in crazy-land, dead birds in boxes are considered “artwork.”  The dead bird in question was a creation by artist Polly Morgan, a trained taxidermist whose similar works sell for up to SEVENTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. 

Can you imagine having the kind of disposable income where you think, “Well, I already have everything in the world I could ever want ever, so I’m going to buy a dead bird in a box?”

Mickey Rourke was captured on video by TMZ hounds – and was asked, “Hey – is it true you’re dating Courtney Love?”  And Mickey, obviously unaware that he probably doesn’t have the same kind of appeal to normal women as he used to, said, “I’d rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla.”

I cannot WAIT to see what Courtney Love puts on her myspace page about this.  She never makes any sense anyway, but when she’s pissed off, she’s a total lunatic.

Actually, I think they make a perfect couple.

You guys GUESS WHAT!  Courtney Love has had to delay the release of her new album because ”paranormal events” forced the album’s producer to leave the studio during recording.   One of her reps posted an entry on her myspace page and said, “The studio that Courtney and her band were using to record had some paranormal technical issues.”

Do you realize what this means?!!?  ROBBIE WILLIAMS SHOULD RECORD IN THAT STUDIO!!!  He’s been chasing UFO’s for over a year now, and this would totally kill two birds.  He’d get his ghosts, I’d get my album, and everyone would be happy.

It’s all so simple really.

p.s.  What in the holy hell is Courtney Love wearing?

What the hell?  Did she use Tara Reid’s plastic surgeon?

Hey!  Remember how I told you guys I was going to see a ghost?  I don’t know if this counts or not, seeing as how I didn’t see this in person, but if this isn’t the actual ghost I’m supposed to see, I’m pretty sure that this is, at the very least, another sign that a real one is going to present itself to me very soon.

You guys.  Courtney Love is either using ghost white body paint to match her dress, or she is already dead and the media just hasn’t caught on yet.