Ok. I admit it. I’ve been watching VH1′s The Pick Up Artist and have not yet missed a single episode. And not because it’s GOOD, mind you….far from it. It’s a total trainwreck. Last week, Mystery, Matador and J-Dog had their “students” learn how to kiss….using PEACHES. I’m not making this up. A good 10 minutes of the show was scenes of these poor saps literally making out with produce. You can’t ask for more enticing television.
This week, after Mystery forced the remaining contestants to wear speedos at a pool party infested with skanky women, the audience was subjected to an EPIC elimintation ceremony. And by epic I mean that I’m pretty sure each guy INCLUDING MYSTERY HIMSELF was injected with high doses of estrogen immediately prior to the medallion distribution. All of them were in tears, crying their eyes out. Mystery at one point actually said, “Now you know how hard it is for me”…..practically choking on his own sobs. Hilarious! He was so overcome he practically forgot how much math is required in an elimination ceremony – counting the number of contestants versus the number of available medallions can be quite taxing.
The above clip shows Mystery in one of his more lucid moments, teaching the dumbest pick up trick ever to one of his gullible students. Enjoy!!
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It will come as no surprise, after you watch the clip above, that this idiot didn’t win Miss Teen USA. But what IS shocking, is that she clearly had to have won Miss Teen South Carolina in order to compete in this stupid pageant.
You know you’re an idiot when MARIO LOPEZ smirks at your stupidity.
So lately I’ve been seeing a lot of the tabloid mags and blogsites refer to people from a show called The Hills. Some girl named Lauren and another girl named Heidi are apparently in some sort of wicked fight. I decided to tune into the show for the first time ever this afternoon to see just what all the fuss is about.
I’ve come to the conclusion that this show is quite possibly the dumbest show ever. I think it’s a reality show, but I’m not positive. The dialogue doesn’t seem authentic, but it also seems too dumb to be something anyone actually wrote as a script, so perhaps it’s some sort of pseudo-reality show. In any case, I can’t imagine who would want to routinely tune in to watch these impossibly boring and annoying people on purpose. And yet apparently it’s all the rage. Anyway, Heidi and Lauren are mad at each other over some rumor that one of them started about the other, and I think there’s a sex tape involved, and that’s about all I could make out of their big feud. But what I find to be far more interesting is that Heidi is engaged to a guy who is CLEARLY gay.
If someone could alert me when the episode airs where Heidi confronts her fiance about his gayness, that would be great. Until then, dear readers, consider yourselves spared from any news about the absurdity that is The Hills.
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