I have no words to accompany this photo, but you have fun picking your jaw back up off the desk now!
Tag Archive for 'Fatness'
As I have said before, I am a “home town” sports fan, basically meaning that I like the Colts and that’s about it. However, with the writer’s strike going on, and not having cable, there was NOTHING on last night on the five stations that come in at my apartment (if you must know, Fox, NBC, ABC, CBS, and MTV Tres). So my husband and I watched a bit of the Orange Bowl. Wow. There was prime mocking territory there people. Who knew?
My first thing to mock was the gentleman pictured here. I have two comments: where do you find that size shirt? And why don’t they make larger sunglasses and watches for men of this size? He should have worn those clown sunglasses you can buy at the Dollar Store, and borrowed Flava Flav’s clock bling.
Secondly, and most importantly, I heard something hilarious last night. The announcer, who was commenting on the performance of KU’s center/quarterback duo said, and I quote, “he should strap himself to him, and ride him all night.” Without a word, my hubby and I turned to each other and he said “you must mock dock this immediately”, which is why we are married. My only thought is that this sports caster must have had Tom Brady on his mind.
So this lady is dead now. 12 days after she had gastric bypass surgery. And when interviewed, her daughter said she couldn’t understand how her mom could eat 8 hamburgers. And considering that this woman was BEDRIDDEN, I’m not sure how she could either, unless someone brought them to her.
So here’s an easy way to help your loved ones avoid getting even fatter once they reach the point that they’re bedridden. STOP BRINGING THEM HAMBURGERS.
Consider this a mockdock publice service announcement. You’re welcome.
The baby on the left is a SEVENTEEN POUND NEWBORN who was just brought into the world by some Siberian woman who already has eleven other kids. NOT Salma Hayek. Can you believe it? The baby on the left is a normal (and clearly annoyed) 7 pounder who is on record as saying, “WTF??” when she saw her new roommate.
Scientists think they have found life on the planet Mars. Stay tuned…
While I was drinking an unhealthy amount today, I managed to actually catch the number “24″ on the back of a pair of crocs. For the love of god, if wearing crocs was not bad enough for man in his 40’s, please do not incorporate nascar into this trend. Also, please do not wear the same shoes as your 4 year old nephew. I say nephew because if you are wearing crocs at age 45, you probably never got laid anyway.
. 
I give you Exhibit F: Irrefutable evidence that there is someone out there for everyone. I would post the photos of this happy newly-wedded couple sharing a kiss, but I didn’t want to seem cruel.
To our readers, I mean.
Apparently, Lisa Kudrow’s career has taken a bit of a downturn.
Well, at least her purse matches her outfit. Ya gotta give her that.
Last week, I rented the movie “Babe”… boy was I in the wrong section… and I noticed that those animals, lacking opposable thumbs are forced to eat very crudely, jamming their faces into the trough, unaware of the social mores established throughout the feces-laden barnyard. (Which if I had gotten the movie I intended to get… could have used the same review.)
As for this little fellow, he seems to idolize the simplicity of the animal kingdom all the while giving Dr. Atkins and Jenny Craig the clearest view of his middle-finger… and cholesterol scores.
See you in cardiac hell, Kirstie Alley!
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