First of all, can we all just agree that there is no possible way that Fergie was born without a penis?
Now that that’s settled, let’s move on. I was on my way home today and heard the song “Fergalicious” on the radio. And as much as I willed myself not to sing along, I found myself spelling right along with her (you know - D to the E to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S, and so on). But I also found myself completely baffled by some of the other lyrics. So I googled the lyrics and found this - the sections out of that particular song:
Fergalicious (so delicious)
But I ain’t promiscuous.
And if you was suspicious,
All that sh*t is fictitious.
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock.
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)Can someone please explain to me what it means to put them boys on rock, rock? I’m being serious. I really want to know.
I guess that this whole big American Idol charity show taped last night, and part of it involved a performance by Ann Wilson of Heart, one of the best female vocalists ever, and Fergie, one of the best female impersonators ever.
Since there was absolutely no way for Fergie to shine in under these singing circumstances, it looks as though she busted out some acrobatics during the performance, in order to maintain some semblance of relevance. I guess we’ll see for ourselves when the show airs.
Not one to be outdone by the rest of Hollywood, Fergie seems to be carrying a fetus within her abdominal region. She also appears to be storing extra helpings of food for said fetus within her cheekular area.
Fergie, seen here trying to open her eye just a little wider, was caught with her zipper down at a show the other day. Still an improvement over flat out wetting herself on stage. Way to go, Fergie!
TMZ reports that Fergie and her boyfriend of 3 years, Josh Duhamel, are now engaged. So my theory that he is either legally blind OR has a transgender fetish must be on target.
How tall IS Brooke Hogan anyway? This picture makes it look like Brooke stopped by a Meijer’s to pick up a Fergie doll so that she’d have something to keep her occupied at whatever event this happens to be.
Who are the men who think that either of these women are hot? Come forward and explain yourselves.
Top photo: Fergie today. Bottom photo: Fergie in about 10 years.
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