I know it’s hard to not want to just lick the screen right now with lust over Carrot Top, but for the sake of your monitors, resist that temptation.
I know what you’re thinking. First I tell you that Gary Coleman is back on the market, and then I tantalize you with photos of Carrot Top. You come to the mockdock for humor and snark, and you get practically thrust right into a erotic fantasy.
Sorry.
They’re getting a divorce. It doesn’t matter why. It was absurd to begin with.
You guys! Remember when I told you that Gary Coleman got married? Well, he and his bride haven’t yet consummated said marriage, and he doesn’t care what you think about it. Look how indignant he is when he talks about it. He says it’ll happen when it happens and it’ll be for the right reasons. What does that even mean? If you marry someone, what is the wrong reason to have sex with them? Perhaps one of our 17 readers could enlighten me on this.
Whatchootalkinabout got married to a girl 18 years his junior. He claims that he has no issues with age, but that he does have issues with intelligence, and that happily, she is more intelligent than he is, which is what he was looking for.
Wow. Aim high there, Gary.
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