The Mock Dock

This totally cracked me up. LOVE.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent this to me, and I am really puzzled. How do you go from “lying” to “gay?” That’s not just a slip of the tongue – that’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT WORD AND CONCEPT.

Discuss.

UPDATE: A co-worker of mine just informed me that the man was “BLIND” not “LYING” – which makes more sense but still doesn’t explain WHY IN THE HOLY HELL this chick called him gay.

I wrote about him over at my other site.

Curious to know your thoughts about him.

Actually, if you’re straight and you know the answer to this, feel free to answer.

What does this sign mean?

What’s mincing? It cracks me up that there’s an apostrophe in the word “gays” – and that there actually needs to be a sign that gays are welcome at an ELTON JOHN TRIBUTE show. Hello. That will be the majority of the audience.

I wrote about Aaron Schock (Republican Congressman from IL) at my other site this morning, because there’s a picture of him floating around the internet looking like this:

You can read my thoughts about the gay rumors right here, if you’re interested. I have some sassy gay friends and a resident rainbow expert right here at The Mock Dock, so I’m curious about their opinions on this matter. In the meantime, what do you think?

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This ad for some aftershave product is creepy from the very beginning, because it features a mountain lion applying aftershave. But during the first few seconds, I was like, “Ok – this isn’t TOO terrible. I mean, it’s an odd choice for marketing, but it’s just a mountain lion, and not really a big deal.”

But then you get to the last couple seconds, and you realize that whatever marketing wackjobs put this ad together are not only promoting mountain lions wearing aftershave, but they are also promoting GAY MAN AND ANIMAL SEX.

Look. I can deal with gay. In fact, I even have a new sassy gay friend, Marcel, who knows the difference between ascots and scarves. But I CANNOT deal with gay men who want to have relations of a sexual nature with mountain lions wearing aftershave. I have my limits.

Kidding!

Wow – I was so surprised to see the reaction of folks to the post about the super gay dude pretending not to be gay. Had no idea it would cause such a firestorm! I just thought it was kind of funny that he was insisting how NOT gay he was, when he’s so clearly gay. That’s all.

I’m still going to try and figure out some way I can coax him to be my sassy gay friend, and give up all this nonsense about not being gay.

In other news, I bought a maxi dress today. That’s a BIG DEAL, because I hate maxi dresses. I mean, they’re long shapeless pieces of material, and they don’t particularly look good on anyone. I really hate them, and I get angry when I see them. Kind of the same reaction I get when I see Smart cars.

And yet, I am now the owner of a maxi-dress. I don’t know what possessed me to pull it down from the rack and take it to a dressing room and try it on, but I did. And I didn’t hate it. In fact, I thought it looked ok. And so then whatever it was that made me pull it down from the rack and take it to the dressing room also made me buy it.

I can’t explain this. Except to say that I’m now a maxi-dress owner, and you guys are just going to have to deal.

According to this, the dude in this video, Adam Hood, is a former gay dude who gave up on the gayness because of the Bible and Christianity. And he spends all four minutes and thirty-two seconds of this video telling you how wrong it is to be gay, and how evil and gross it is and how you’re basically assured a spot in hell if you’re gay.

He does this, mind you, while being as gay as gay can be. I mean, the dude is wearing a SCARF. With gold accents. If ever there was a poster boy for gay, he would be it.

And here’s the thing. I think he should just be gay already. He should own and accept and love his gayness. Just THINK of what a fine sassy gay friend he’d make to a fashion-challenged girl. I would TOTALLY be his friend.

…and I’ve been struggling with it all day, frankly. You know how sometimes there is just really tough stuff you have to say to someone, and you don’t know how they’ll react, and so you have to really mull over how you’re going to deliver the message?

That’s how I feel right now. I mean, I’ve “virtually” known many of you mockdockers for over two years now, and divulging something of this magnitude is a Big Deal regardless of how longstanding our relationship might be. It’s just not something I wanted to dump on you without any warning, so I’ve decided to not post the news on the front page. Jump in, and brace yourselves, for what I’m about to reveal will BLOW YOUR MIND.
Continue reading ‘I Don’t Know Quite How To Break This News To You All…’

…why I think wrestling is gay.

You might recall that I mentioned this in previous posts here and here and here.   And now, courtesy of Buckeye Bob, I’d like to submit this photo as further evidence of the gayness.

I mean, COME ON.