Brooke Hogan is not a virgin. I know. It’s shocking. While she doesn’t say DIRECTLY that she’s had relations of a sexual nature, she does say, “I’m not, like, a saint” and giggles and basically does everything you can do to inform a person you’re sexually active except say the words and/or have sex with them right then and there.
Guess how she justifies Hulk Hogan, her DAD, rubbing lotion all over her butt? By informing us that “he’s changed my diapers, like seriously.” You guys, she really is that stupid.
So this is Brooke Hogan “performing” at some mansion in Miami front of helpless victims. Well, I would consider them all helpless victims EXCEPT for one notable exception - namely, her DAD. Yup - he was there with his brookalike girlfriend.
All together now. EEEEEEEEEEW.
Several pics of Linda Hogan and her new boyfriend - this NINETEEN YEAR OLD, are floating around this morning. Which I’m sure means that’s a glass of water he’s sporting there. I don’t know exactly how old she is, but I’m guessing it’s at least double this dude’s age. And what’s disturbing to me about this is that he looks like her son, much like Hulk’s girlfriend looks like his daughter. That’s just plain creepy.
Brooke and Nick just need to start dating each other (once Nick is out of jail) and then it’ll be like a full cycle of creepiness has completed.
Only this time instead of Miley and Billy it’s Brooke and Hulk. There was another shot with Hulk’s hand perilously close to Brooke’s crotchular area, but I decided to spare you too much creepiness and just show you the upper thigh move.
You’re welcome.
Gabone asked for it. I agree, these two do have some similarities. What are they?
Obviously devastated and still in a state of mourning over the demise of his marriage, Hulk was seen drowning his sorrows in the ocean.
The ocean of skanky love, that is. That’s his new girlfriend, who, with the help of LOTS of makeup, looks a lot like his daughter.
Hulk Hogan was seen at an airport with a girl who’s apparently a new girlfriend, and she looks pretty much like a carbon copy of his daughter, who is a carbon copy of his soon-to-be-ex-wife. Hulk likes ‘em big boobed and blond. Which would also describe him.
So you see, he’s very consistent.
Since Holmes is out today working on his calf muscles, I will step in to write a letter to Hulk Hogan.
Let me tell you this brother, when I was young, you told me to eat my vitamins, say my prayers, and believe in myself.
I have since dropped you as a role model.
If I had not taken this action, I would be taking steroids, cheating on my wife, and wearing a fanny pack. Brother.
Sincerely,
Gabone
So apparently there is a story from reputable and reliable newsource The National Enquirer, which says that Hulk Hogan had an affair with one of his daughter’s galpals, shortly before Linda filed for divorce.
Now before you get too grossed out, the affair girl is a good 10 years older than Hulk’s daughter. But before you decide not to get too grossed out, let me remind you that she SLEPT WITH HULK HOGAN.
Ick.
Linda Hogan has filed for divorce. And she did it the really classy and mature way - so that instead of telling the Hulk directly, he found out when she was off on vacation and a reporter called him to ask him about it. Nice.
Apparently, news of the birth of his two children (now grown, of course) was delivered via a note during recess.
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