You guys have heard of Lifelock, right? It’s that company that you pay money to each year so that they can protect your identity, and if it gets stolen you get a million dollars worth of protection from them. Yeah. Mr. Mock and I signed up for that last year. And today, we got to see first hand how well it works. It turns out it works SO WELL, that Mr. Mock and I are unable to use our own identities.
Today, we went to go buy iPhones. We went to the AT&T store, picked out the phones and all related accessories we wanted, and Jeff, the AT&T dude who was helping us, went to open up our account (in Mr. Mock’s name), which involves inquiring about our credit through the credit bureau (in this case, Equifax). “No problem,” we think, ”for we have excellent credit and are loved by creditors.”
Yeah.
So Jeff gets off the phone and says, “You guys have Lifelock, right?” And we say, “Yeah.” And Jeff says, “Well, in order for our credit department to check your credit, they have to verify that you’re who you say you are by calling you at your home number and asking you verification questions.” So we say, “Well, why can’t we just talk to them right now, since you already have them on the phone?” And Jeff says, “When you have Lifelock, and therefore a constant fraud alert on your account, the AT&T credit department follows a certain process and they can ONLY contact you at the number listed on your fraud alert.”
So Mr. Mock goes home, and I go back to work, and Mr. Mock awaits the verification phone call. It comes. And he proceeds to fail the verification test, because they ask him things about our finances, about which he knows nothing, because I take care of all that.
So we call Jeff and tell him to open the account in MY name. He says, “Sure! When you come by later this afternoon after you are done working, we’ll call the credit department back and you can talk to them and set this up.” So I go there after work, and he calls the credit department back, and the credit department says, “Ok - we’ll call her for verification.”
So naturally, they call home. Mr. Mock answers. This is the conversation:
Mr. Mock: Hello?
AT&T: Yes, could I speak with Mockarena?
Mr. Mock: Is this the credit department from AT&T?
AT&T: Yes.
Mr. Mock: Mockarena is in your store, standing right next to Jeff, your sales dude.
AT&T: Uhhhhh….
Mr. Mock: As a matter of fact, I can give you Jeff’s phone number.
AT&T: Well, uhhhhh, we have him on the other line.
Mr. Mock: Well then you should be able to chat with Mockarena pretty easily, seeing as how she’s standing right next to him.
AT&T: Uhhhhh. Ok. Well, goodbye then.
So AT&T gets back on the phone with Jeff, who’s been on hold this whole time, with me standing next to him, and they tell him they cannot verify me because I am not at my home number, and that I will need to call their fraud department to alert them if I want them to contact me at a different number.
It gets better. Jump in for the rest of the story.
Continue reading ‘AT&T Really Really Really Really Doesn’t Want Us To Have iPhones’
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