It’s been KILLING you that you haven’t seen a photo of Jamie Lynn Spears’ kid, hasn’t it. Well, here you go. Jamie Lynn whored out her story spoke to OK magazine about her delivery and all sorts of other crap. She said:
“They told me it would be an eight- to 12-hour labor, and I was ready to have the baby in three to four hours. I had a perfect pregnancy and a perfect delivery. I was very blessed.
“Once I got in there, my doctor was just so calm and so good it was not bad at all,” she says. “I was just talking to Casey. And you know what’s so weird? I was asking him if he was okay. He was like, ‘Yeah.’ We were both so excited.
“She (the baby) is very good. She’ll feed every two or three hours. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, I’ll feed her and she goes right back to sleep. There’s no screaming and crying. We get up in the morning, and she gets her little bath. Then I get my bath. We have a routine, and I love routines. I’ve worked one out with her, and we’re happy going about our little life.”
“Being a mom is the best feeling in the world!” she says. Yeah, this will TOTALLY discourage teens from getting pregnant. Way to go, Jamie Lynn. Why don’t you just go ahead and say that having a baby at 16 is the best possible thing anyone can ever do EVER? In fact, perhaps you should mass distribute condoms with holes in them while you’re at it.
Word on the street is that Jamie Lynn Spears is about to give birth at any moment, which means that the human species, as a whole, is about to get just a tiny bit dumber.
Stay tuned.
(Not because we’re going to necessarily update you on this particular news item, but just because you should visit here at least 3 times a day, as a general rule.)
This is Jamie Lynn Spears looking like a picture of 16 year old pregnant innocence as she makes her way to her 2nd baby shower.
Looks like that visit with her big sis had an effect on her.
You know, I’m starting to get really tired of Britney acting so normal. Where are the midnight rendezvous with random paparazzi? Where are the fast food and gas station runs? Plus, it’s been over a year since she shaved her head. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH, Britney.
Anyway, here she is with her family at her sister’s baby shower. Britney looks like a linebacker in this photo. I’m pretty sure she’s only like 5′3, and I know she’s got heels on but holy crap her mom must be a dwarf.
…Jamie Lynn has become every bit as photogenic as her big sister. Well done, Spears girls, well done.
Remember how I posted a couple days ago about how far back Britney Spears’ hairline was receding, most likely due to her hideous extensions?
Well, clearly her sister’s hair is doing the same thing. I’m not sure if she’s got extensions or not, but regardless, LOOK at how much skull is happening here. I thought pregnancy was supposed to make your hair healthier, and yet, it looks like the fetus has decided to just absorb any hair-healthifying hormones for itself.
Looking more like a grandmother-to-be than a mother-to-be, Jamie Lynn was surprised at the pump with flowers from a stranger.
I would like to know why being a pregnant 16 year old has compelled Jamie-Lynn to begin wearing quarters as earrings.
Britney showed up (two hours late) for her scheduled deposition today in this outfit. And with this cellulite.
In other news that comes as a surprise to absolutely no one, Britney’s pregnant sister Jamie Lynn’s Nickelodeon show has been officially axed.
I am so going to be first in line when their mom’s parenting book comes out. At this point, she should probably just update the title to be “Here’s All the Stuff You Shouldn’t Do” and then she can leave everything else the same.
So here’s a picture from several months ago of Jamie Lynn with her nephew, Sean Preston. He looks what, about 6-7 months old here? So this was riiiight about the time that he lost any hope of ever NOT spending his entire adult life in therapy. But there are bigger issues to delve into as a result of this photo.
Namely, the couch. What sort of interior design wizard would select such a hideous sofa for a HOME? A funeral home, ok. But a house? Britney’s kids are in more danger than I originally feared.
1. Jennifer Aniston might be pregnant. It might be Vince Vaughn’s kid - or it might be Jason Lewis’. Or it might not be either of theirs. It might be that old royal guy who claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole’s cross-eyed baby - you know - the one married to Zsa Zsa. Or I might have just made that part up.
2. Jamie Lynn Spears might be getting married to that Casey dude who got her pregnant. However, the baby MIGHT not be his, as various sources report that it might belong to some older producer from her show. That would be totally scandalicious, and would alleviate some of the apathy I’m feeling about today’s celebrity news.
3. Jessica Alba is engaged to Cash Warren. The same guy she broke up with several months ago when she wanted to get married and he didn’t. Hmm. I suppose the fact she’s pregnant now is just a coincidence and not at all a way to get him to commit.
4. Paris Hilton’s grandpa is giving away the bulk of his net worth to charity when he dies, leaving her with probably only several million skillion jillion dollars instead of a hundred million skillion jillion dollars. I weep for her.
5. Mischa Barton was arrested for DUI, after failing to gain anyone’s attention by acting.
6. The dude that Lindsay Lohan was banging post rehab is now selling pictures of her and revealing all the details about his sexual encounters with her. Next up - a “How to Live Your Life Like a Classy Gentleman” autobiography.
I don’t have the will to find pictures to go with any of this.
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