The Mock Dock

This is from Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston’s new movie premiere.  These two are so gorgeous they should just be together in real life already.  Even Mr. Mock says Gerard Butler is hot, and Mr. Mock is as straight as they come.

This is just one of many reasons I love Mr. Mock.  It is SO LAME to me when guys can’t admit that another guy is hot.  Women acknowledge other beautiful women all the time,  and there’s no reason it can’t be the same with men.

Anyway, my point is that Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are both sizzling hot, and they should just make babies together and live happily ever after.

This is apparently Bradley Cooper and Renee McLemonSucker pulling in to check into a Beverly Hills hotel together.

This is what I’m guessing they’re thinking:

Renee:  OMG I have no idea how I ever thought Bradley Cooper would stay interested in me, what with my impossibly perpetually puckered sour facial expression and all. 

Bradley:  I should have picked Aniston.

I’m annoyed that people harp on Jennifer Aniston for mentioning Brad Pitt in pretty much every interview she ever does ever.

This recent article actually suggests that Angelina Jolie is all furious about it.  She’s apparently, according to a source, “…absolutely sick of Jennifer dragging up Brad’s name in interviews. As far as she’s concerned, it’s just a pathetic attempt to cause trouble between her and Brad.”

Now – I’m not nearly interested enough in this story to begin with to actually choose a side here.  I don’t care if Angelina is mad at Jennifer or if Jennifer is mad at Angelina.  I tend to think that neither of them really gives a rat’s assular area about the other.

But here’s what is starting to get annoying.  Everyone who complains about Jennifer mentioning Brad in every interview is failing to realize that every interviewer who ever interviews Jennifer ASKS HER ABOUT BRAD.  I guarantee you that Jennifer doesn’t WANT to talk about Brad.  But she is being polite and answering these lame-ass questions that all of these idiotic interviewers keep asking her about him, because if she didn’t, they’d accuse her of being a total beyotch.

So here’s an idea for all the people that don’t want Jennifer to talk about Brad.  STOP ASKING HER ABOUT HIM.

There.  Rant over.  I feel better now.

Have you guys seen the heart cow? I love the heart cow so much.

Mr. Mock had our Valentine’s last night and after dinner we went to see He’s Just Not That Into You.  Which, now that I think about it, was probably not the best choice of movie to see on Valentine’s Day.  And the best thing I can say about that movie was that I didn’t mind it.  But mostly, I felt about it like I felt about Revolutionary Road, which is to say that it was just a sad, sad commentary on today’s relationships. 

Couple of things specifically.  First, that movie was entirely too long.  They could have told that entire story in a matter of 25 minutes.  Two hours, as Mr. Mock put it, was “excruciating.”  And he went into it with an open mind, particularly after seeing this teaser.  But you know what?  That teaser is about 10 times funnier than the actual movie.

Secondly, much of it is hugely predictable.  And I hadn’t even read the book it was based on.  And even though it’s two hours long, it kind of rushes itself through the last 20 minutes or so, to tie up all the loose ends. 

The positives?  Bradley Cooper.  Hhhhhhhot.  Plus, the guys get eye candy too – and actually more of it than girls do, since they have Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Connelly and Ginnifer Goodwin in it.  I’m sure three main costars with the same name (pronunciation-wise) didn’t get confusing at ALL.  Drew Barrymore was in it too, but not looking very good.  The amount of time you see Drew Barrymore in the previews for this movie equals the sum total of time she’s actually in the movie.  Maybe 7 minutes altogether.

Mostly, with the exception of Jennifer Aniston, all the women’s characters were annoying as hell.  Jennifer Aniston wasn’t annoying because she was too busy playing the exact same role she plays in every movie that she ever makes.  And that role isn’t annoying – it’s just the same all the time.

When we left the theater, Mr. Mock asked me to please never drag him to such an excruciating movie again, and then asked me what I thought.  I said, “You know? It just makes me sad.  Do you think it’s based on reality?  I mean, is this how relationships ARE nowadays?”  And he said, “I really think so.  Not everyone can be as lucky as we are.”

He’s right.  We’re positively nauseating to people, and I love that.  Happy 9th anniversary of the day we got engaged, Mr. Mock!  And Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you mockdockers out there!

So in a recent interview, Jennifer Aniston had this to say about John Mayer, her sperm donor du jour:

“He’s a rare one. He is extraordinary and it is wonderful to watch him… the way his brain works and the way he thinks thoughts… it’s beautiful.”

I actually genuinely like Jennifer Aniston, but….really?  The way he thinks thoughts?  Seriously?

Translation: “He seems like he has healthy sperm.”

Soooo many rumors flying around today.  We’ll just have to see which, if any, actually come to fruition.

1.  Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling have broken up again, because she is apparently too controlling.

2.  Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with John Mayer’s twins.  Because you’re NOBODY in Hollywood if you’re pregnant with just one lousy fetus.

3.  Paris Hilton wore this to go vote last night.

(Actually, that’s not a rumor.  That’s really true.)

4.  This picture defies explanation.  (Also potentially true, until such time as you guys come up with something to explain it.)  GO!

John Mayer actually gave the paparazzi the time of day yesterday, ostensibly to be forthcoming about why his relationship with Jennifer Aniston ended, but mostly so that he would get to say that HE ended things with Jennifer Aniston. Note: there is a difference.

Now, you know that generally I don’t like to post break-up rumors until they are absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt proven to be 100% true, but all these reports that John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston prompted me to start thinking about how completely sucky her love life has been compared to Brad Pitt’s.  I mean, he totally upgraded – I think we can all agree on that, and basically he and Angelina are in the news like every second because they keep having babies who are talked about like they’re going to be the inevitable rulers of the planet someday, and they’re off saving the world and donating zillions of dollars to charities around the world, all the while being completely gorgeous and madly in love with each other, and meanwhile Jennifer is being dumped by the likes of Vince Vaughn and John Mayer and having her picture splattered all over the tabloids with headlines like, “SHe’s so jealous of Angelina!” and “She’s desperate for a baby!” and “She’s so needy!” and other equally humiliating captions.  And it just made me stop and contemplate how much it must suck to be her right now.

If the breakup rumor is true, dollar says she’s going to hook up with Lance Armstrong next.

This is the teaser trailer for Marley and Me, a movie starring a golden lab. Oh yeah – and it appears that Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston each have small supporting roles as well. This is like the dumbest preview ever, in that it gives you absolutely no indication of what this movie is about, except to suggest there’s a lot of running in it.

Someone in their marketing department should be fired over this.

And Jennifer Aniston is FREEZING.