This is the teaser trailer for Marley and Me, a movie starring a golden lab. Oh yeah - and it appears that Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston each have small supporting roles as well. This is like the dumbest preview ever, in that it gives you absolutely no indication of what this movie is about, except to suggest there’s a lot of running in it.
Someone in their marketing department should be fired over this.
So it appears that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are officially dating, which means John Mayer is clearly on a mission to date everyone famous singer and/or actress in Hollywood. It also means that we’re soon going to be subjected to various dating name combinations for the two of them. Like Jennimayer and Mayniston and other gay names like that.
P.S. John Mayer and a tattoo sleeve. Somehow this does not compute.
According to this, Jennifer Aniston is going to write a book revealing all sorts of juicy-ness about her marriage to Brad and their subsequent break-up, and Brad’s subsequent transformation into Angelina Jolie’s boyfriend/spermbank.
This could be veeerrrrrry interesting. Even though it’s like the oldest news ever.
1. Jennifer Aniston might be pregnant. It might be Vince Vaughn’s kid - or it might be Jason Lewis’. Or it might not be either of theirs. It might be that old royal guy who claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole’s cross-eyed baby - you know - the one married to Zsa Zsa. Or I might have just made that part up.
2. Jamie Lynn Spears might be getting married to that Casey dude who got her pregnant. However, the baby MIGHT not be his, as various sources report that it might belong to some older producer from her show. That would be totally scandalicious, and would alleviate some of the apathy I’m feeling about today’s celebrity news.
3. Jessica Alba is engaged to Cash Warren. The same guy she broke up with several months ago when she wanted to get married and he didn’t. Hmm. I suppose the fact she’s pregnant now is just a coincidence and not at all a way to get him to commit.
4. Paris Hilton’s grandpa is giving away the bulk of his net worth to charity when he dies, leaving her with probably only several million skillion jillion dollars instead of a hundred million skillion jillion dollars. I weep for her.
5. Mischa Barton was arrested for DUI, after failing to gain anyone’s attention by acting.
6. The dude that Lindsay Lohan was banging post rehab is now selling pictures of her and revealing all the details about his sexual encounters with her. Next up - a “How to Live Your Life Like a Classy Gentleman” autobiography.
I don’t have the will to find pictures to go with any of this.
Jennifer Aniston’s nether-region groomer has just informed the world that her client enjoys being hairless down thereless. This pubic public revelation might explain the crazy look on Jenn’s face in the picture above.
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