So apparently word on the street is that Jennifer Lopez insisted on some clothes store shutting down so she could shop privately in it and then she proceeded to try on a bunch of stuff and left it all on the floor and then left without buying anything.
But the only reason I am telling you that is so I would have an excuse to post this picture of her. She could have just single-handedly solved the world hunger problem and I would still use this picture to accompany the story.
According to People, Jennifer Lopez has come up with the most unique and innovative idea of all time. She is going to star in a reality show which will demonstrate how she juggles her career with her personal life.
Novel, right? I know. But wait!
She’s also going to co-executive produce it, co-create it, and obviously star in it with what I’m sure is an entire army of personal slaves assistants who basically do everything for her.
Groan.
Look at how angry she is. You know why? It’s because her stylist made her look like some sort of evil cobra with that slicked back hair and snakey dress.
I can’t think of many people that this kind of hair looks good on, with the possible exception of the girls in the Robert Palmer videos. And even that is a stretch.
When my son was an infant, this is exactly what I wore to feed him too! As you can see, it’s a very practical and comfortable new mom sort of outfit.
So four weeks ago, one of the above people gave birth to twins. If I was going to make a guess based on exhaustion level, I’d go with Skeletor.
Because no one in Hollywood has an ounce of originality anymore, there are reports that Jessica Alba is expecting twins. And so is Jennifer Lopez. And Angelina Jolie. There is NO WAY Scientology will allow Katie Holmes to NOT become pregnant with twins now.
Taking over the lifetime achievement award from Salma Hayek for most gigantic pregnant belly ever, Jennifer Lopez appeared at some function the other night with Marc Anthony by her side. He’s really there at her side….you just can’t see him because of how huge she is and how skeletor he is.
That’s it. Mariah Carey has crossed the line and will now join Ashley Judd and Katherine Heigl in having her own I Hate category here at the MockDock. According to this source, Mariah Carey had this to say about the possibility of performing a duet with Jennifer Lopez:
“I’d rather be on stage with a pig — a duet with Jennifer Lopez and me just ain’t going to happen.”
Now, I’m the first person to say that JLo isn’t an exceptional singer. But my my my - SOMEONE thinks an awful lot of themselves, now, doesn’t someone? Perhaps JLo doesn’t want to be seen on stage with someone who needs to shave her mustache as often as Marc Anthony either. Didja ever think of THAT, Mariah? What a beeyotch.
At her Miami concert the other night, Jennifer Lopez announced, much to the shock and surprise of her audience, that she and Skeletor are EXPECTING A BABY. Given that she’s walking around looking as though she might explode any moment, her timing was appropriate. The photo above was taken just moments prior to conception.
Jennifer Lopez, seen here with Skeletor, is copying Christina Aguilera and NOT making a formal announcement that she’s pregnant, even though she could not be MORE pregnant. Unless she was Salma Hayek like 6 months ago.
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