Because being on a reality show was so obviously a success for her the first time around, Jessica Simpson is going to do another one. It will be called The Price of Beauty, and the basic premise is that cameras are going to follow her around the world as she searches for the answer to that timeless question, “What do people find beautiful?”
I don’t know about you guys, but that’s just stupid. I can answer the question right now, by simply saying, “Not looking like the above picture.” Done and done.
Jessica said, “I am really looking forward to discovering how beauty is perceived in different cultures and participating in some of the crazy things people do to feel beautiful. I know we will all learn a lot on this journey and I am so excited that VH1 is coming along on what I’m sure will be a wild ride.”
I so hope this means she’s going to get those giant discs put into her earlobes, or get her face tattooed or something. The show starts production this summer and will air sometime next year.
Right? Her feet are bloody? Because there is no other explanation for whatever it is that’s going on in her footular area, except bloodiness.
She’s got that dancing face on. You know the one. The one where you’re trying to bust a move and make a sexy face, and you THINK you look provocative and all sultrificated, but in reality, you look like a bloated pop-turned-country-singer with bloody feet.
I’m finding the latest celebrity gossip to be so tiresome lately. But I know you guys like it, so I’m going to try and summon up some energy to talk about some of it. Here goes.
1. Jessica Simpson was apparently dropped from her country record label. Because, you know, she sucks and stuff.
2. Lindsay Lohan and that scowly girlfriend of hers broke up, and Lindsay has blabbed the entire story to US Magazine. Because, you know, she hates publicity and she’s super classy.
3. Billy Bob Thornton was a complete ass in a recent interview, and subsequently people have been booing at him at his shows. Because, you know, he’s a musician now. Actually, the interview is pretty entertaining. He compares himself to Tom Petty, which is kind of hilarious.
4. Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregnant.
5. Farrah Fawcett has been released from the hospital after internal bleeding related to her anal cancer got under control. The bad news is that apparently the cancer has spread to her liver. This totally bums me out, because she was a Charlie’s Angel, for crying out loud. And you know how much I loved them.
Marc Jacobs, fashion designer, stepped out in this masculine get-up the other night. Presumably because he’s trying to start a new trend for men’s clothing.
If Mr. Mock walked out of our bedroom in a skirt, I would laugh for 3 straight days. Particularly if it was coupled with a skin tight purple shirt and combat boots.
I think it was Marc Jacobs who designed some of those backwards shoes that are so ridiculous. I’m pretty sure successful designers end up being so completely out of ideas at some point that they resort to stupid stuff like this.
Speaking of stupid shoes, an alert and astute mockdocker sent me the below photo – new shoes from Jessica Simpson’s line.
These. Are. Hideous. I can’t even think of an outfit that these shoes could possibly look good with, except perhaps one of the high school show choir dresses I used to wear, and only because the ugliness of these shoes would distract from the ugliness of the dress.
I cannot imagine wearing anything more annoying than these obnoxious earrings. How she doesn’t get them hooked onto just about everything with which she comes into contact, I have no idea. And if I saw her in person wearing these giant hula hoops in her ears, I would pull on them. There is no way I could resist yanking on those suckers.
A couple of you alert and astute mockdockers have alerted me that Ashlee Simpson posted an entry on her myspace page today in defense of her sister. Most of it is all high horsey, and she calls out FOX NEWS specifically for reporting that Jessica gained weight, which was lame considering pretty much every media outlet did the same, but what was most striking was one of the last sentences, which said:
“How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size two figure?”
You know, I was on board, even after the Fox News thing, with some of her points. Until I reached that line, at which point I was like, “Girl, please. Jessica’s as much a size two as Jennifer Love Hewitt was when SHE said she was a size two. ” What is it about a size two that celebrities who gain weight insist on throwing it out as their “fat” size? If she’s a size two NOW, what was she when she was gyrating all over a car wash in that video where she butchered “These Boots Are Made For Walking?” Because as much as I hate when she butchers other people’s songs , I’m the first to admit her body was AMAZING in that video. So does that mean she was a negative size?
At least, it would appear so given her choice of total mom jeans.
Here’s the good news I think we can take away from this. She is obviously very comfortable in her relationship with Tony Romo. And if he loves her in her mom jeans and her two leopard belts and her skanktank, then theirs is a strong relationship indeed.
P.S. These pictures are from a radio station chili cook-off, which she HEADLINED. Nicely done, Jess.
Loading ...
Recent Comments