Are you one of the millions of people out there who are totally addicted to Guitar Hero? Or not even just addicted - are you someone who enjoys a round of Guitar Hero from time to time? (Yes, Dame. I’m talking to you.) Well, if you are, then you should know that John Mayer thinks you’re lazy.
He said to Rolling Stone, “Guitar Hero was devised to bring the guitar-playing experience to the masses without them having to put anything into it. And having done both, there’s nothing like really playing guitar. I mean, what would you rather drive, a Ferrari or one of those amusement-park cars on a track?”
See, this is where John Mayer forgets that he’s a gazillionaire who can afford to choose between an amusement park car or a Ferrari, whereas most Guitar Hero fans can only afford to NOT be total pretentious dillweeds.
Suck it, John Mayer. At least most Guitar Hero fans don’t look like this when they play:
So it appears that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are officially dating, which means John Mayer is clearly on a mission to date everyone famous singer and/or actress in Hollywood. It also means that we’re soon going to be subjected to various dating name combinations for the two of them. Like Jennimayer and Mayniston and other gay names like that.
P.S. John Mayer and a tattoo sleeve. Somehow this does not compute.
Did you guys ever see this bit on SNL when Jessica Simpson and John Mayer were dating? It just makes me giggle so much, and for whatever reason it came to mind this morning, and I felt a need to share. Enjoy.
You guys - you HAVE to watch this. This is Jessica Simpson performing a song live. Which I have always found to be completely bizarre. She has this way of contorting her face and switching her voice from breathy to full-on yelling - the experience of watching it is similar to what a clinical observation of a previously uncharacterized seizure must be like. You stare in wonder at what’s taking place before you, and you can’t really put it into words - but you know it’s completely WACK.
I will always hate her for destroying Robbie Williams’ song, Angels, and I couldn’t even bring myself to subject you all to her live version of that. But watch this - and then imagine, if you will, what sort of hilarious faces she and John Mayer probably made during their moments of intimacy.
Dear Ex Lover, Perhaps you didn’t understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I’ll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I’m done trying. I hope this is enough closure for you. Goodbye.
P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.
Umm….so are you wanting me to call, or not? This has to be the most confused ex-girlfriend in the world. Especially if it really is directed at Jessica Simpson. Remember she actually thought chickens lived in the sea and that buffalos had wings? It’s either directed at her or the microphone he used to make out with.
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