The Mock Dock

Apparently, Jon Gosselin and his new-ish girlfriend have split up.  This is sure to send shockwaves throughout the universe, because it seemed they had EVERYTHING going for them.  She was a mature 22 year old who loved to party, and he was a barely-divorced father of 8. 

I don’t know what could have possibly gone wrong.

I actually giggled, in a non-contemptuous way, at Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s Halloween get-ups.  I mean, it’s totally un-original, because even I was waiting on a Kate Gosselin wig to use for work tomorrow but couldn’t find it in time.  But there is something about this photo that is positively hilarious.  I mean, the horrible t-shirt, and the doll babies – all of it.  It totally gives me the glees.

But no worries, I’ll go back to totally hating the holy hell out of them in about a half hour or so.  This too shall pass.

I thought I’d send you all off into a new work week with two of the most savagely hot celebrity men of today.  Chaz Bono and Jon Gosselin. 

You know you want ‘em.

Here’s something that will make you feel all mushy and gooey this evening.

Octomom thinks Jon Gosselin is a total hottie.

I’ll wait right here while you empty the contents of your stomach.

According to this, Jon Gosselin is still a total punk.

I mean, the article didn’t say THAT, exactly.  But basically that’s how I would summarize it.  Remember how earlier this month Kate went on the Today Show crying about how Jon stole $230,000 out of their account leaving her destitute and unable to properly spike the back of her hair?  And remember how Jon patently denied that accusation?

Well, now he’s saying he DID take the money, but that she took a bunch of money too.  $60,000 out of the same account, actually.

Can’t we do something about these societal parasites?  If Obama could arrange for them to disappear, I submit to you that he would then actually deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.

Kidding. She hates his guts. She’s a wretched beast of a person, but I can’t help but love how brutal she is towards that tool. Enjoy Part 2 of what I hope will be a multi part series.

…her smackdown of Jon Gosselin is priceless. LOVE.

BEHOLD:  The neverending saga of Jon and Kate and their hate.

I actually watched the entire ELEVEN MINUTES of this crap. I think there’s something hypnotic about her creepy hair.

Yyyyyyyyyyeah.

He looks like crap.

But you know who doesn’t look like crap, despite the fact that he just went through MAJOR SURGERY?

Mr. Mock.  Mr. Mock looks, actually, totally awesome.  And he’s standing up straight, which is a far cry from how he looked this morning.  Thanks to those of you who sent well wishes for him.  I think he’s going to be as good as new in a few weeks!

Jon Gosselin. He’s no longer just a total douchebag. Now he’s like a super extra double secret maxi-douchebag.

His earring infuriates me almost as much as his stupid sideburns.

HATE.