The Mock Dock

I can’t tell you how much it pains me to post this, but I feel like I’d be neglecting my celebrity mocking duty to ignore it. Do I feel kinda bad for Kate, even though she was a controlling, crazy nightmare when she was still married to that dillweed? Yes. I do. Because while she’s dealing with a daycare’s worth of children, he’s off boinking drug-using skanks. So yeah – I have a bit of sympathy for her.

But I’m still sick of these people. And I’m sick of them having the nerve to ever say they want to keep anything private EVER, when they have thrown themselves, quite purposefully, into the spotlight whenever they possibly can.

HATE.

Jon Gosselin.  I mean, the guy’s just a dillweed.  In a recent interview with People magazine, Jon said, “At this point…I’m single -per se.”

He’s single PER SE, you guys.  Which is coincidental, seeing as how I think he’s a douchebag PER SE.

His new best friend?  Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay, and wearer of hideous clothing.  Now THAT’s a role model for fathers everywhere, isn’t it?

Jon Gosselin’s hairline.  Unfortunate for HIM, I mean.  For me, it’s hilarious.

Jon Gosselin.  BEHOLD:  he and his new girlfriend happily prancing around St Tropez while he tries to figure out how to get her a fashion line deal.  This is a father of eight, who just split from his wife like four seconds ago. 

I can’t stand Kate either, don’t get me wrong, but if Jon insists on having a new relationship this quickly after breaking up with the mother of his eight kids, couldn’t he at least wait, I don’t know, like more than four seconds to flaunt it in PUBLIC?  You know those kids are going to see this picture and others like it all over the grocery store tabloids.

Ick.

Update:  Oh yeah – the girlfriend is the daughter of the plastic surgeon who did Kate’s tummy tuck.

One big happy family.

So, I’m in the middle of watching last night’s episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight, because I tivo’d it out of morbid curiosity, and I’ve just hit “pause” because Jon actually used the whole, “We have soldiers dying in Iraq and yet the paparazzi want to know what we ate for lunch” line.

Can I just tell you that there is nothing I hate more than when people who have whored themselves and their children out for fame and riches turn around and COMPLAIN about what it’s like to have fame and riches?  How does that moron not see the irony of him complaining about paparazzi INTO A TELEVISION CAMERA?

So yeah.  They’re getting a divorce because they’re both so completely despicable that they no longer can stand to be around one another.  And the show is taking a hiatus, which is really a blessing for the American public.

HATE.