First it was Tori Spelling and Paula Abdul. Now it’s Audrina Patridge, who isn’t as much a celebrity as she is a total drain on society, but nevertheless, she’s well-known enough to be mocked. I am a heterosexual female, but most of you know that I will happily and readily admit when another woman has physical features which are desirable. For instance, remember when I commented on how awesome of an assular area Kate Hudson has?
But I cannot see ANYTHING attractive about Chipmunk Patridge’s boobular area. Either these are not attractive boobs, or this is the least flattering bikini top ever. Your thoughts?
I know - shocker, right?
You know, I want to like Kate Hudson. I really do. But the problem with Kate Hudson is that she allows her little boy to look like this:
I recall reading somewhere that Kate won’t cut his hair because HE likes it long. Which means essentially that Kate Hudson is allowing Ryder to parent himself. If my son said, “Mommy - I would like to keep my hair long so that people can’t really tell, upon looking at me, exactly what gender category I fall into” you know what I would say? I would say NO. And then I would start calling everyone I know to tell them that my two year old was using phrases like “gender category.”
Anyway, it’s called being a parent. Your kid doesn’t get to call the shots on this kind of stuff, Kate. Do the right thing.
Various reports, as well as the cover of this magazine itself, insist that this is Kate Hudson. It looks like the vampire version of Kate Hudson, maybe, but it certainly doesn’t actually look like Kate Hudson. Which, if I’m Kate Hudson, I don’t really know how to take that. I mean, how would you feel if a magazine called you and said, “Yeah…we’d like you to be on the cover of our magazine, only we want to make you look as little like you as we can possibly make you look without, you know, having an entirely different person on the cover. How does that sound?”
I would feel kind of bad, really. But then, I’m not a crazy celebrity.
Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson are apparently finished having their “relationship.” You know what? I’m glad. I hated these two together. I’m not even exactly sure why.
You realize what’s going to happen next, right? Lance Armstrong and Cameron Diaz. She’s been passed around like the flu, plus she seems to meet his obviously narrow girlfriend criteria.
So Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson are the new Hollywood couple du jour. And you guys, I have no idea why but I am totally irritated by this. And I couldn’t care less about either of them, but something about seeing the two of them together enrages me.
But I’m telling you right now, if he manages to convince her to cut her kid’s hair, I will put aside my rage and give them the ole Mockarena Stamp Of Approval. Which I’m sure is a huge priority for both of them.
I’m pretty sure this is how I would feel if I attempted to jog, so I can’t fault her for looking like she wants to die.
I am as straight as the day is long. And I mean I am totally and completely, through and through, a heterosexual female. But holy mother of God - Kate Hudson has a perfect ass. I mean look at it. You can’t get much more perfect than that, and I am not ashamed to say that I am kind of in awe of it. This more than makes up for the fact that her boobs are smaller than Carson Kressley’s.
This is Kate Hudson and her SON, Ryder. So now she’s not only refusing to cut his ridiculous girl hair, she’s making him wear clothes that make your eyes cross. AND his shoes don’t match. Someone call CPS.
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