The Mock Dock

Here’s another clip of that movie The Ugly Truth with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler, and even though I’m not a Heigl fan, I will TOTALLY see this. Because Gerard Butler is fabulous. And this scene is kinda hilarious.

LOVE.

I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, but as I understand it, many people do.  And apparently there is some chatter about whether or not Katherine Heigl’s character will stay on the show.  And this article has some quotes from The Heigl about that.

So here’s where the kleenex comes in.  Katherine Heigl, when asked about whether or not she’d like to continue doing movies and TV (by working on movies during her summer break from Grey’s Anatomy) said this:

”I’m more than happy to make that compromise. As my agent likes to say, ‘High-class problems.  ’I don’t know if I want to continue for five years working 12 months a year, but I can take at least another year or two.”

I don’t know about you all, but just THINKING about poor Katherine Heigl possibly having to work TWELVE WHOLE MONTHS a year makes me WEEP with sympathy for her.  I mean, how can she be expected to work every single month out of every single year?  For mere millions?  What is she, some sort of slave?  

I’m thinking of starting a some sort of charitable foundation – you know, something that will provide poor Katherine with enough funding that she only has to work, say, nine months of every year instead of the full twelve.  The poor girl must be EXHAUSTED.

(Hate.)

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me the link to a news article which suggests that Katherine Heigl miiiight be a beyotch.

I KNOW!  I was shocked too.

So she’s in the midst of filming some movie called Five Killers and has been apparently acting ”extremely unprofessional,” as well as totally flaking out on meetings.

AND, she’s been insisting that she be flown by private jet to and from all of the film’s locations, along with a whole bunch of extra security.  

AND, an extra from 27 Dresses said, “Heigl reportedly refused to film any scenes until her pregnant assistant ran around and got her a Coke Zero. She refused to eat lunch next to anyone or have anyone speak to her once the cameras stopped rolling.”

This is, of course, on top of all the other beyotchy stuff she’d done prior to all of this, which we’ve talked about ad nauseum in the I Hate Katherine Heigl category.  In short, she’s a beast.

You can pick your jaw up off the floor now.

Doesn’t it look like Katherine Heigl is just about to take a giant munch out of TR Knight’s face-ular area?  Which, incidentally, is making precisely the same expression I would make if I were anywhere near Katherine Heigl.

Apparently rumors abound that they are both leaving whatever show it is that they’re both on.  I don’t watch it, but I believe it has something to do with a drab color and the science of the human body.

You know what I don’t get?  Other than the fact that Katherine Heigl chose to dress herself as a leopard-spotted creamsicle?  I don’t get why anyone, in this day and age, STARTS smoking.

I mean, I get why people my parents’ age started smoking.  No one knew any better when they were growing up, and everyone thought it was cool, and so yeah – people picked up the habit.  Those were the days when you could smoke on planes and in restaurants and everything.  But I don’t get why anyone would start NOW.  Everyone knows it’s completely awful for you, the only place you can smoke in public anymore is basically a bar, if it becomes a habit you end up wasting tons of money on it, and it is decidedly uncool. 

Mr. Mock and I are practically the only people I know of who have never even TRIED a cigarette.  I’m serious. We have never even had the end of a cigarette touch our lipular areas.  Ever.  We were apparently immune to smoking peer pressure.   And neither of us were particularly dorky growing up or anything.  We just both thought smoking seemed like a really dumb idea.  Clearly, we were destined to end up together.

So – fess up, mockdockers.  Who amongst you smokes, and what got you started?  And is there anything that The Mock Dock can do for you to help you quit?  You know I can post some diseased lung pictures or something.  I’m a giver, you guys.

Alert and astute mockdocker Leroy sent me this cut-out from In Style magazine of Katherine Heigl’s hairstyle.   You know what I immediately thought of when I saw this?  There’s Something About Mary.  And you know what scene I’m talking about.

It makes me wonder just how much “goo” it took to get her WHOLE HEAD OF HAIR to stay put like that.  It also makes me wonder why anyone would bother trying to get their whole head of hair to stay put like that, since it looks like a rolled up sock.

HATE.

Someone needs to provide lessons to Katherine Heigl and her scruffy husband in proper kissing techniques. 

She has lots of chins.

See this look on Heigl’s face?  This is how I felt towards EVERYONE today.

You know what I hate?  I hate when you have a bunch of time off during the holidays, and ostensibly you have all this time to rest, but instead what happens is that you don’t rest at all, and then you come back to work to MOUNTAINS of crap on your desk and a zillion phone calls and emails, which causes you to become ten times more stressed than you were before you took all that time off to rest.

HATE.

…but this new Heigl flick looks fabulous, and I totally want to see it, mostly because Gerard Butler is totally dreamy.

However, he’s not dreamy enough for me to be convinced to see 300, even though it’s one of Mr. Mock’s favorites. It looks too bloody and violent and killy to me. I think Gerard, along with Clive Owen, have been officially placed into the category of men which Mr. Mock would be ok with admitting he wouldn’t mind being. Steve McQueen tops that list. I think in general, it’s easier for guys to say that they wouldn’t mind BEING other guys than it is to just say that other guys are hot.

But I’m pretty sure it’s the same thing.

We haven’t heard much from Heigly McSmokeypants in quite awhile. Well, from this photo we can clearly see what she has been doing since her 15 minutes of fame ended. But hey, before you all write me nasty comments about leaving celebrities who eat like normal people alone, and how my above sentence is contributing to the national epidemic of body image esteem dysfunctions, blah blah blah….I know full well that she is a very thin and attractive woman. I still think it’s hilarious when she is photographed in a way that makes her look like a 14 year old drama club president who has caught her monthly mensies.

Now that that is settled, let me explain a bit what The Heigler was doing for her birthday. Apparently her husband (pictured below looking quite douchey) took her out for her 30th birthday and treated her to a “Old Hollywood Glam” type event. And then, in the classiest of ways, she wanted to make a public stop at the local Mcee D’s. Not only did she make sure the paps were there, she left the door of her car open for this impromptu, totally casual and normal photo opt. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.