The Mock Dock

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it or not, but Daisy, Leroy and I, along with two other cool chicks, are heading to Vegas in July to celebrate the occasion of Daisy’s 40th birthday.  It’s going to be epic, especially since Daisy has never been, and we are counting the days till we get to go.

You’re probably wondering how in the world that’s exciting news FOR YOU.

Well, I’ll tell you.  The exciting news is that none other than BUCKEYE BOB has graciously agreed to guest-post in my absence.    I decided that it would be really nice to take the kind of vacation where I actually don’t bring a laptop with me, you see.   And so I thought about who might be the best person to fill in for me while I was gone -  for approximately a millisecond, because there was really no reason to think about it when the choice was OBVIOUS.

When I asked him if he was interested, he said he was actually more interested in going to Vegas, and questioned whether a male chaperone was needed.  Then he expressed concern that he might not be able to find suitable material during my absence.  To which I responded, “BB – half of the stuff I post is stuff you send me.”

I know you’ll all welcome Buckeye Bob as a fill-in author with wide open mockdock arms.  My only concern, really, is that you won’t want me to come back.

Anyway, you’ll hear more about Buckeye Bob’s foray into headlining mockery in the upcoming weeks.  For now, your challenge, if you choose to comment on this post, is to strike a perfect balance of excitement about Buckeye Bob’s guest posting and sorrow about the fact that I’ll be gone for a few days.

To get your creative commenting juices flowing, here’s a fuschia landbeast.

You guys remember the thumb guy, right?  This might be him.   And if it is, he will henceforth be known as frontbutt guy instead of thumb guy.

…in that Tiny Dancer song.

I’m so glad this isn’t a gif image that moves.  Because eew.

Can anyone identify the body parts that are on horrifying, wretched display above?

You know what’s kinda awesome?  I think that person is wearing Skechers Tone-ups shoes. 

Might I also suggest a coat?

I ask, you see, because of the incredibly similar boobular area.  But I’m not sure Aretha would go for such bold stripes.

Thoughts?

I’ll give you one guess as to which alert and astute mockdocker sent this to me.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me a photo that his sister’s friend took on Ventura Pier, and it just goes to show you that these flesh-revealing landbeasts are viewable outside the walls of Wal-mart.

I still think they’re indigenous to Wal-mart, but apparently they come outside every now and then too.

The fact that any type of UGA gear is in close proximity to parts of the body that don’t even EXIST on non-landbeast people is going to be upsetting to him.

Where are this chick’s Actual Boobs?  They’re not actually what’s sticking out of the bottom of her shirt, are they?  ARE THEY?!?!??!

God bless America.