I know I haven’t put up the totally NSFW pictures of Kristin Davis that have been leaked all over the place over the last two days. And it’s because I can’t help but like her a little, and I feel really bad for her, and the pictures are completely unflattering and if it was me in them I would be utterly mortified and I just can’t bring myself to mock them AT ALL.
However, the picture above is the douchebag that she dumped sixteen years ago, and now that the SATC movie is about to come out, he decided to pick now as the time he’d feel all pissed off at her for dumping him and sell the private photos of her he took.
His name is Eric Stapleman and he owns some restaurant in New Mexico. And he’s obviously a jerk.
Let this be a lesson to all women everywhere. DO NOT let your boyfriend/husband take naughty pictures of you unless you have sole access to them afterwords. This kind of crap always happens.
Now, if this happened to someone like Paris or Lindsay, then I would definitely mock it. Oh wait! It DID happen to them. HA HA!
This is their DAD.
Just let that soak in for a minute.
If your dad wore this type of get-up routinely, wouldn’t you sort of be destined to check into rehab at some point in your life?
1. Jennifer Aniston might be pregnant. It might be Vince Vaughn’s kid - or it might be Jason Lewis’. Or it might not be either of theirs. It might be that old royal guy who claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole’s cross-eyed baby - you know - the one married to Zsa Zsa. Or I might have just made that part up.
2. Jamie Lynn Spears might be getting married to that Casey dude who got her pregnant. However, the baby MIGHT not be his, as various sources report that it might belong to some older producer from her show. That would be totally scandalicious, and would alleviate some of the apathy I’m feeling about today’s celebrity news.
3. Jessica Alba is engaged to Cash Warren. The same guy she broke up with several months ago when she wanted to get married and he didn’t. Hmm. I suppose the fact she’s pregnant now is just a coincidence and not at all a way to get him to commit.
4. Paris Hilton’s grandpa is giving away the bulk of his net worth to charity when he dies, leaving her with probably only several million skillion jillion dollars instead of a hundred million skillion jillion dollars. I weep for her.
5. Mischa Barton was arrested for DUI, after failing to gain anyone’s attention by acting.
6. The dude that Lindsay Lohan was banging post rehab is now selling pictures of her and revealing all the details about his sexual encounters with her. Next up - a “How to Live Your Life Like a Classy Gentleman” autobiography.
I don’t have the will to find pictures to go with any of this.
When asked what she thought about Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy, Lindsay Lohan said, “Not much. Why do people think it’s such a big deal?”
See, she’s downplaying it because she’s trying to come up with the next thing that will put the focus back on HER. Be on the lookout for a hard night of partying and a hook-up with someone shocking, like JLS’s boyfriend or something. Followed by re-entry into rehab, and possibly a Vegas wedding.
Here’s your everyday average photo capture of Lindsay Lohan, off to do her regular normal routine - shopping, eating, whatever. So it really struck me when in the background appeared a barely dressed angry-looking person who seems determined to tell Lindsay something. Let’s discuss. What do you think she’s saying?
Girl on the left? A picture of Lindsay Lohan at age 13, fresh-faced and perfectly innocent. At right, a picture of her sister Ali taken a month ago. AT AGE 13. The girl looks like she’s not only old enough to drive, but also vote, drink and possibly run for president already.
Because Britney is such a good role model, Lindsay Lohan opted to follow suit and fatten up her pout. You can see how well that worked out for her.
She was all, “So like - can you make my lips look like Britney’s?” and her surgeon goes, “Yeah - lemme just use this picture of her eating Cheetos as a reference”, and voila.
This whole skinny jean thing is just plain gay. NO ONE looks good in them. Case in point - Lindsay Lohan, widely known for her sobriety and work ethic, is shown here. Pretty much everyone on the planet has seen her in a bikini, and I would venture to say that most people agree she has a perfectly reasonable ass. But in skeans? Eeew.
Have you ever seen a more vacuous, hollow, and empty-headed trio in your life? Seriously. I’ve seen tree stumps that look smarter.
Recent Comments