So you may have heard all those rumors that Guy Ritchie and Madonna are splitting up and that she’s seen attorneys and he’s seen attorneys and it’s because of Kabbalah and kids and her freaky arms and all sorts of other stuff. The whole blogging community has been in an uproar over this for several days.
This picture was taken last night. I would make the assumption, from this photo, that they are pretty much still together, unless she’s been given some sort of submission drug or something. Plus, his mom reportedly told the media in London that these rumors are all crap and that they are all sorts of still together.
This is why I don’t generally post stuff until it’s proven at least MOSTLY true. Like that whole Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo break up, for example. It’s just crap. Remember a couple weeks ago when Angelina had reportedly given birth? Yyyyyeah. She’s still all sorts of pregnant and even though she’s hospitalized, she probably won’t actually give birth for several days. This should be a lesson to other bloggers who aren’t nearly as sophisticated and awesome as we are to not report stuff about babies being born unless two criteria have been met:
1. The woman is seen/photographed HOLDING THE NEWBORN INFANT or
2. The infant is seen/photographed EMERGING FROM THE UTERINE AREA of the woman.
If neither of those things have happened, it’s probably wise to just keep quiet.
p.s. If I were Guy Ritchie, I would totally divorce Madonna due to her freaky arms.
Actually, let me clarify that. I love British accents on authentically British people. I violently detest British accents on people like, say, Madonna.
The dumbest person in England can come to America and automatically sound like he’s a rocket scientist, because there is just something about the accent that makes it sound very smart.
I just read an interview (in Interview Magazine) in which Emma Thompson (LOVE HER) interviews Hugh Laurie (LOVE HIM). And yes - that’s them in the photo above, along with some other people. They have fantastic banter and they use words like “prodigious” and “betokens” and “misanthropist” and “chamber.” And they don’t use them in an Ashley Judd way - they just genuinely naturally use those words as part of their casual conversation. I love it so much.
Did you know they used to date? I did not. And actually, Hugh prefers to use the term “stepped out.” LOVE.
Anyway, jump in to read the full interview. I think it’s totally worth it.
Guess what! Madonna’s estranged brother is apparently releasing a tell-all book about her which is reported to be incredibly revealing and graphic.
Um - I don’t know about you, but since Madonna released a book called “Sex” several years ago which featured dozens of naked pictures of herself in compromising positions, I fail to see how much more revealing and graphic one can get about her.
Also - can someone please explain this workout attire? Is there LACE peeking out from those manshorts? WTF?
This is Madonna up to her old, tired tricks at some performance in Paris. And rumor has it that this was an unsuspecting back up dancer. But I’m officially going to start the rumor that it’s Ashlee Simpson’s fiance, Pete Wentz, since that’s who it looks like in profile.
Help me spread this around. Let’s see what kind of IMAGE SHATTERING DAMAGE we can do.
You know, regardless of who it is, Madonna MIGHT want to consider not sexually assaulting kids who she’s old enough to be the mom of. Eeew.
Lourdes, Madonna’s daughter, is officially in the pre-puberty awkward stage. Put a shopping cart in front of her and she’d look like a homeless person in this photo.
This is going to disappear before the day is out, I guarantee it. So if you are at all into Madonna and/or Justin Timberlake and/or Timbaland, here is the new video 4 Minutes. And I will just admit right now - I love it and I miiiiight have a tiny crush on Timbaland.
Looking scary as ever, Madonna was spotted leaving a London gym the other day. The muscles are used to scare humans, while the fur is used to scare other creatures. All in all, she pretty much scares everyone.
Madonna got inducted into the hall of fame yesterday, with Justin Timberlake and Iggy Pop (?) by her side. And when I say “by her side”, I mean that neither of them seemed to be too frightened to be next to the knotted vines that have replaced her arms. She may as well stop curling her hair and wearing dresses, because she has no prayer of looking feminine with those things.
Word on the street is that people who use a certain gym in NYC are getting totally irritated that huge parts of the gym are shut down whenever Madonna feels inclined to work out. There are apparently even “black-out” areas so that people literally are unable to catch a glimpse of her.
Based on the above photo, I think it’s really a public service that people are unable to catch a glimpse of her. I would run in terror if I saw this in person.
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